Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML
Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML
Today, I was working when my boss left briefly, leaving me with her elderly, senile mother. Not only did I have to chase her when she ran after a stranger on the road, I turned my back for 5 seconds to do my actual job and she walked off. When my boss returned, I had to tell her I lost her mother. FML
Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML
Today, I set aside an entire week off to watch my parents' house while they went on vacation. I'd only just got here and they'd barely left when the hospital called. My drunk uncle died from a concussion, so my parents cancelled everything. I feel bad for my aunt, but my boss knows where I live, and my dad's an ass. I'm trapped. FML
Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML
Today, a friend asked me to cover his shift at work because his grandmother died. Like any decent friend, I obliged. Later, after leaving, I walked by a bar and saw him inside, laughing and doing shots with all of our friends. FML
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML
Today, at work, my manager fell in front of an entire lobby full of people on a wet floor. I'm the only one who burst out laughing. Turns out she has a broken arm. FML
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Top comments
newbiehere99 6
Shot shot shot shot shot shot eeeeeerrrr'bodddyyyy !!!!!! Time for free shots and tell the manager you had an accident.
KM96 24
Either she's a little clumsy, or he is a bad manager, who probably thinks he's too good for the job. What ever way, he is a jerk - or a caring guy who loves his grandma :S
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Comments (93)
Harshdfml 14
Grandma's boy
HKCgrimmjow 15
Maybe his grandma has bowel movement problem, like... You know.. "Accidents" nobody wants fecal matter all over the place!
AsianCookie247 14
More like empty nest syndrome.
AsianCookie247 14
DAMN YOU IPHONE! Sorry, I wasn't trying to reply to a different fml! Don't mind me.
AsianCookie247 14
*facepalm* was* ...
ironichalibut 24
HEY! That's a man's Mee-Ma, it's a serious matter.
bobasaurus 6
I don't understand the process of people liking it disliking. This comment made me laugh, yet is disliked over 40 times.
fishstick557 14
Wow that really sucks OP don't worry he'll get what's coming to him
DerrickJames 33
What's coming to him? My grandmother had a lot of accidents before she passed away too. You shouldn't assume he is lying..
kevsandy303 12
37- yeah, but if its happened several times this week and today's Sunday...
CanCann 16
Not sure why this got thumbed down. I agree. Sounds like the new manager will be fired soon. Whether he's lying or not, who wants to keep manager that can't work a full shift, let alone a full week?
primadonna9396 16
My first thought was that she falls often or calls him frequently with "emergencies" like misplacing things or getting disoriented, but he doesn't want to take the chance of not going in case it really is an emergency... Of course he could be a lazy lying douche, but if you've never cared for an elderly person, it is really stressful.
newbiehere99 6
Shot shot shot shot shot shot eeeeeerrrr'bodddyyyy !!!!!! Time for free shots and tell the manager you had an accident.
Enslaved 38
Hell yeah! Now you're talking! When that happens to me, I start experimenting behind the bar with new recipes and concoctions. "Sex with an alligator" shots are a hit! (:
tjv3 10
Well if he keeps it up and you are doing a good job you might be the next manager
GreekYogurt 26
No shots for you
adam_tajyar 10
That sounds kinda sketchy and like a lie, but maybe his grandma really does have frequent accidents if she's not all up there, but if he's lying karma will be a bitch
Michael_92 20
Something tells me this is a lie. If grandma got into accidents like this all the time then he would be fired for leaving so much. My money is on he is taking time off to play with his sock puppets.
docscientist 10
Karma's more of a benchwarmer, really.
ninjaghost99 10
I agree, maybe his grandma has a severe disease or seizure problem and has frequent accidents. You never know but if he's lying he will get what he deserves don't worry...
KM96 24
Either she's a little clumsy, or he is a bad manager, who probably thinks he's too good for the job. What ever way, he is a jerk - or a caring guy who loves his grandma :S
mccaincracker 6
Fall so hard life alert wants to find me!
mooniez 7
I just hope it wasn't an..."accident."
sens3sfailing 25
What are you trying to..."say"?
Mister_Triangle 21
Grandma "fell" down an elevator shaft and landed on some bullets.
poccocurantes 7
Depends, on what you consider an accident, or for an accident.
mooniez 7
I just meant how people call ******** themselves having an accident, but it's okay, it's already been said +9000 times since. Down vote me, people!!
then000bster 16
Hey, if anything his "grandma" is just a lady friend who wants to get down.
andyyroxx 20
Or his actual grandmother who has trouble getting down... The stairs.
theboy13 13
Someone should accidentally bring it up to his boss
pantsman66 20
Seems like grandma is ******** her pants daily and he has to wipe the "accident" away
lissa_jade 22
sounds like grandma needs to be at the bar with you guys. then your manager buddy can watch her and she can drown her troubles in beer. beer fixes everything.
badbadkitty 5
You're not even of legal drinking age.... If you have the outlook of "beer fixes everything" before you even can legally drink, I think there is a problem....
docscientist 10
I think that it's a worse problem if you're older and have that mentality.
poccocurantes 7
Yes beer fixes everything but alcoholism.