Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, I tried to tell my dad that I was really struggling with my mental health and didn't think I could stay alive much longer. He laughed. This comes after telling my "best friend" last week and having to wait three days for a reply. FML
Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML
Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML
Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
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Top comments
cookie_3008 4
Ha!! Tell her you are expecting a child, and enjoy the show.
Savra_fml 17
You should have told her "Good that you are joking mum. I wouldn't have the heart to tell you I would choose to stay with dad!"
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Comments (121)
ladyshainaa 5
Shoot her in the knee with an arrow.
xShannonxSammyx 7
Well that wasn't very nice.
sns_fml 0
If you got adventure problems I feel bad for you son, I dodged 99 arrows but my knee took one.
MikeDa1Da 14
Tell her that you're pregnant
shannonreneee 11
Jokes aside, that's pathetic parenting.
DooleyFTW 17
Yeah a lot of parents seem to get off on torturing their kids!
urdirtyolduncle 15
I like to starve them for entertainment. You'd be surprised of what they do and say!!
kbtoyz69 9
so many OPs have anxiety attacks I'm just wondering is it really that common?
zurisbloodyrose 0
High anxiety is common. I have to take pills for it so I don't have panic attacks. It really sucks, trust me. =/
sky22_fml 7
Jokes are healthy unless they're taken a bit too far...
lrgenesis 19
Go to lemonparty dot org, save it to the desktop on your computer, then rename it google chrome or whattever browser your parents use and have them open it. Enjoy the show.
fadingfaith 4
I guess so. When I started getting anxiety attacks three years ago I felt like such an outsider, but now I'm starting to realize I'm not the only one.
DooleyFTW 17
I used to have anxiety attacks, then I took an arrow to the knee!
cookie_3008 4
Ha!! Tell her you are expecting a child, and enjoy the show.
fallensnow143 6
i did tht to my mom and took 20 years off her life. she 40.
thisisafunnyname 12
I did that, too. She didn't believe me. I think it's cause I'm a guy.
thisisafunnyname 12
damnit that was supposed to be a reply to 4
LolFMLnot 10
49 dkm!!!'b
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Ah, gets them eveytime!
The_Weirdo 10
Tell her that you are pregnant, or made a girl pregnant, and then watch her reaction to that.
a_tadych593 0
that's what the person above you (3) just said.. you're a little late on that..
xNephilim 19
They posted this at the same time. #3's just so happened to show up first.
hollylolly92 3
That's cruel!
theunwiseone 4
You should fake a panic attack next time she least suspects it and "fall unconscious" that'll teach the biatch.
LoZelda123 20
Doesn't seem like she'd learn anything seems like she'd just be a bitch, laugh, and tell OP to "put a bandaid on it"
Savra_fml 17
You should have told her "Good that you are joking mum. I wouldn't have the heart to tell you I would choose to stay with dad!"
iliketurdles 7
So the best everyone could come up with was pretend you're pregnant? I'd pretend I'm a serial killer and walk towards her with a knife. What? Too much?
ColtsDoug18 0
Yeah, WAY too much.
ironman108 0
Yeah, you just mentioning that makes me feel awkward. SOOO geee ummmm yeah.... Look at the time, gotta GO!
DocBastard 40
Anxiety issues aside, that's an unconscionable thing to do to a child. Last I checked, parents are supposed to provide their children with a safe environment that fosters security. Your mother has problems. This isn't a practical joke, it's just cruel.
derpster 7
*fangirls* DocBaaaaastard!
margie2194 12
This is unrelated to the FML, but is that a **** ring on the X-ray doc?!
shannonreneee 11
Read his blog, yes it is :)
sinking_fish 12
84- Glad I'm not the only one that reads it! It's funny as hell! :)
attaboy368 20
whoa! Nice mom!