Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and my butt stuck to the seat a little bit, so when I got up, the seat unstuck itself and came down loudly. The girl who was also in the bathroom went running out, saying that I pee with the seat up because I have balls. I spent a while trying to convince other kids that I really was a girl. FML
Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
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Top comments
MDoremis 38
And I'm sure you'll never forget to put the seat down again now.
UnidentifiedFun 37
...but why can't you? ^
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Comments (90)
xoxokeylee 12
Hahahaha. Pay back is a bitch to the male population. You dunked your Doughnut!!
dhiran_singh 16
yeah, I know u probably thought ahh seat is already down -sits down ahhhh f*
Meettitan 14
At least no one flushed while you were stuck. I hear Craig's mom died that way.
revolvearoundme 15
Easiest check list ever, 1)make sure the toilet/room hasn't been ass sprayed 2) make sure there is toilet paper 3) make sure the seat is clean and in the proper position. Come on people it's not like we're asking you to use the 3 seashells here!
laden_swallow09 35
Hehehehe… Demolition Man reference.
Badkarma4u 17
Exactly. A checklist everyone over the age of 5 should use.
TheNewGuy03 29
I've done this a few times when I was in a panic trying to avoid emptying the contents of my colon prematurely. Thankfully, I never completely submerged my ass or got stuck in the toilet. When water touches your ass, it makes you stand up REAL quick.
IamComrade 16
You definitely deserved it.
joeyl2008 29
because they didn't look before they sat down
thefaekitten 29
#48 Maybe they were half asleep.
writerchic85 26
Be careful getting out you might suck your intestines out
Talis99 26
I don't understand how this happens. You are walking toward the toilet, how are you not looking at it? Not least of which to make sure it's not disgusting before you use it.
DarkStorm2Bad 14
I knew there'd be comments on here saying shit about men and toilet seats. What I have to say here applies to everybody: if you need the seat up, put it up; if you need it down, put it down. It's not rocket science; it's a toilet seat!
quackImapenguin 16
Or everyone could put down the lid when they're done which entails putting down the seat as well if the seat was raised, but it's the same amount of effort either way. Equality! Toilet lids exist for a reason- you don't have to worry about things or people accidentally falling in. Also it looks better.
keepmelikeanoath 13
I really have no desire to touch a toilet seat, so if you have already touched it to put it up, you might as well touch it again to put it back down.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Lids are the answer. Get into the habit so you never have to worry about a toddler falling in or a dog drinking out of the toilet then licking your face. Any other opinion on the up / down situation is basically wrong.
dilliedill 13
haha! Karma
DaDezza244 31
You should look up the word 'karma' before using it, you fool