Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML
Today, I realized how single I truly am when I blurted out "Yes!" as soon as the priest asked the bride, "Do you take this man…" The bride was my sister and you could hear a pin drop after I blurted it out before she had a chance to respond. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
Today, I overheard my best friend laughing and calling my fiance lame and stupid, all because he proposed to me with a bouquet instead of a ring. And here I was about to ask if she would be my maid of honor… FML
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML
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Top comments
bogart20 13
By the power vested in her, he may "bang her friend"!
SweetlyPsycho 4
Leave it to your friends to make your wedding day something completely awkward! And then...your husband looks your father in the eye and says 'I DO!', like a boss!
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Comments (180)
spacetravel 1
Your friend was completely inappropriate.
Skittles_Rawr 8
Best friend ever.
Jaoriprilj 17
Female "priest?" Mkay. Still, nice. :) Tell your dad to get a sense of humor...
QueenSaru 28
Shockingly, there are female priests and even female rabbis. As far as I know, only Catholics are so antiquated that they refuse to allow women into the seminary.
Chad_the_Brony 0
Tell him to lighten up. He threw his life away, why should he ruin yours?
xStaciexLynnx 15
Where in the FML does it say he threw his life away?
heitwl 1
I think he is just trying to make the bride feel better, like her dads wedding sucked, non sexual wife, never took a chance in his life middle management kind of guy.
ilaleahcim 6
68 - Please stop making Australia more of a laughing stock than it already is. Be proud of our country all you like, but don't be such an ASShole about it.
auzz1_pride 9
79) How is Australia a laughing stock? Our dollar is stronger then the American dollar, it's one of the most wanted get away vacations for tourists and the worst natural disasters that we get are tropical cyclones. No country is perfect.
Axipiter 24
Maybe because it started off as a prison? I don't know, I have nothing against (most) people from there on an individual basis, but I'll never like it as a whole. That's just MY personal opinion though.
heitwl 1
Sorry but I think your friend made your wedding. Your father is in the 1% that thought it was not funny.
fuckmebutdontfml 16
he's now your husband so your father's approval is hardly an issue anymore...
saidawhiting 14
"Priest," or minister? They're not the same. At any rate, your friend sounds delightful and your father will just have to deal.
mk58 31
Your dad will learn to laugh about it soon, hopefully once he sees that you didn't mind either.
butterytoast 0
Hhggggh
Ameel_fml 19
Not gonna lie, if a friend had done that at my wedding, then I would have been pretty pissed. Fair enough if you approved the joke first, but I'm guessing you didn't since you wrote this FML to begin with? Yeah, if a friend came out of nowhere and said it (in front of all my closest family and friends) I would have been pretty pissed off.