Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML
Today, I realized how single I truly am when I blurted out "Yes!" as soon as the priest asked the bride, "Do you take this man…" The bride was my sister and you could hear a pin drop after I blurted it out before she had a chance to respond. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
Today, I overheard my best friend laughing and calling my fiance lame and stupid, all because he proposed to me with a bouquet instead of a ring. And here I was about to ask if she would be my maid of honor… FML
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML
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Top comments
bogart20 13
By the power vested in her, he may "bang her friend"!
SweetlyPsycho 4
Leave it to your friends to make your wedding day something completely awkward! And then...your husband looks your father in the eye and says 'I DO!', like a boss!
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Comments (180)
iDunbChild 2
Haha , your friend must be awesome!!
jalapeno47 5
Since when are priests female? And since when do they say shit like that?
fantasyworld 39
That's hilarious.
jerdang 7
But women can't be priests......
mcgshawn 15
your friends awesome
Unlucky1232 20
well sucks that he disapproves but hey at least he had the decency to come for u.
daidax_238 26
With the current day church being what it is, I'm surprised your female friend was actually able to become a priest in the first place. Filthy meninist bitches!
PissyBitch Daily 13
Classy person you married there, OP.