Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML
Today, I realized how single I truly am when I blurted out "Yes!" as soon as the priest asked the bride, "Do you take this man…" The bride was my sister and you could hear a pin drop after I blurted it out before she had a chance to respond. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
Today, I overheard my best friend laughing and calling my fiance lame and stupid, all because he proposed to me with a bouquet instead of a ring. And here I was about to ask if she would be my maid of honor… FML
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML
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Top comments
bogart20 13
By the power vested in her, he may "bang her friend"!
SweetlyPsycho 4
Leave it to your friends to make your wedding day something completely awkward! And then...your husband looks your father in the eye and says 'I DO!', like a boss!
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Comments (180)
Sandsh8rk 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well that sucks. Time to get a new friend.
VictoriaSchultz 8
Why would she need to get a new friend? She seems like a fun person. It's the dad that doesn't apporove
ClassyCommando 13
Why? She sounds awesome! Have you no sense of humour, 1?
zandalee 20
What? Get a sense of humor!! She was joking! Supposed to be a super happy occasion, Dad should chill the hell out and be happy for her!! Mad friends are what makes the world go round. I'd be lost without mine.
Sandsh8rk 36
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I was clearly joking...
ClassyCommando 13
How in ****'s name was that "clear"?
Sandsh8rk 36
Screw it. I read the FML wrong. My apologies >.<
zandalee 20
Awww. Sorry we were so hard on you!
yahoowizard 16
Nope, you're two comments late
HunkyFes 6
Time to get a new father, more like.
kinkyfemboislut 6
Exactly that is an awesome priest!
RayRod 6
She doesn't need a new friend, her dad just needs to be more accepting. I mean banging is what must people do when they get married, so he could've just had a little sense of humor
Almighty_Chris97 6
Some people would say that that is not the time for humor.
wallandpiece 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Humour*
KeyboardWarrior 10
It's spelled differently in different countries. Just like spelled is sometimes spelled 'spelt'.
Drigr 9
I will never understand why people try to lie to make themselves look better. "I was clearly joking" then followed by "Yeah I read them FML wrong" people probably wouldn't be as harsh if others would just be like "Yeah, I read it wrong, my bad"
Axipiter 24
84 - Except "spelt" means something entirely different.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
#114 in the UK it means the exact same as spelled.
Bryceps 4
34 That's going too far
nado13579 12
I wish I had a friend like that!
trueblue170 13
SandSh8rk, I'm sorry, but that's the most pathetic excuse EVER.
Sandsh8rk 36
Wow, looking back at this now I guess I can say I ****** up on my first 'first' comment. Lesson learned.
bettyc4 26
That guy is a boss
ComTlancy 12
You mean' that girl'
katcot99 11
Could be her guy friend.
VictoriaSchultz 8
It clearly says "she then turned to him"
VoteForTaco 8
Im confused. Is the priest female?
nofearjenshere 12
Yes^
VoteForTaco 8
How is that possible? I was taught priests couldn't be female. Teachers Y U GIVE FALSE INFO
herrobear 0
Female priest? Not in the Catholic church...
QueenSaru 28
Nowhere did they say they were Catholics. And Catholics aren't the only denomination with priests, churches, or weddings...
rendezvous1111 3
"She than turned to him..." , meaning she, the female preist, turned to him, the groom.
muzy 23
It's the Op's fault for writing priest instead of priestess.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Uh, priestress tends to refer to pagans. Women can be ordained as priests/ministers in some churches however (united for sure... I think Anglican and Lutheran too but I might be wrong on those). They are NOT called priestesses. They are called pastor, minister or PRIEST when leading a church. Priestess refers mainly to Druidic leaders. So no, op should not have said priestess. It's your fault for being ignorant of correct religious leader titles.
muzy 23
@142- Stop talking out of your backsie and try researching before attempting to correct someone...
Eiregal2 10
Sweetie I am a practicing Wiccan and my friend who wrote that nicely informative comment was right. I was raised catholic so the only women of the church were sisters (nuns) most of my family moved off to England in the 50's and joined other religions where the female religious leader was known as vicar.
Zhjonin 4
Dude, I love your argument!!!!!
Eiregal2 10
Mine?
MerrikBarbarian 9
143- I study theology, am a practicing pagan and volunteer regularly with the MCC because while I don't share their believes I do share their love of helping others... And i happen to have performed weddings. Who is talking out their ass? Pretty sure it isn't me. ;)
bogart20 13
By the power vested in her, he may "bang her friend"!
siickman 7
Im taking it, you were on the short yellow bus?
dancingstar991 0
Don't think you'd want to bang someone in a wedding chapel during your wedding ceremony with everyone looking at you.
yellowpoop123 1
Are you sure? :)
enaja 0
This is fake you can't have a women priest.
Quidikic 9
My dad and step mom had a woman priest. I was the best man and my step brother was the, second best guy thingy, whatever it is. Things aren't all set rules anymore.
LouisianaBob 9
Protestants have male and female priests. This would be my guess for OP.
bogart20 13
Didn't everyone? Im pretty sure I saw you hiding in the back, acting like you weren't there. Its just a joke, short bus comments aren't necessary. I mean I didn't ask if you skipped your anger management did I?
Keevarou 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Okay... That's a totally normal thing for a Priest to do...or did I misunderstand the FML completely? But still no need for the father to disapprove, sex is normal :)
TheDrudgeChild 4
True. OP's dad needs to learn to take a lighthearted joke.
glutgyoogle 6
Female priest...?
MyChemicalSmosh 4
Yes #80. They do exist.
Wederoney 16
No this is defenately not normal. This is legen... wait for it... dary!
esines 9
Priest = male, priestess = female
xactownife 7
106 - Definitely*
spaerro 8
Tell your father to loosen up. I'm sure your husband is a great guy and I hope your wedding was a blast!
missamerica95 0
I agree, that is going to be a great memory for them, something they can laugh about for years. Dad will come around eventually. I hope you had a day full of laughter and love OP :)
nerobluerose 10
You're sure his wife is a great gal? Yes, his dad will come around eventually.
SweetlyPsycho 4
Leave it to your friends to make your wedding day something completely awkward! And then...your husband looks your father in the eye and says 'I DO!', like a boss!
bettyc4 26
Your comment's better than mind XD
AugustBurnsToast 14
Or 'I DID' lol
Jakesterk96 8
In your bedroom. Twice.
DarkHelmet 10
Awkward my ass!!!! That was EPIC!!!
bettyc4 26
Girl* oops
eon07 0
It's all good. And that's so true lol
pbonham 22
I feel for you OP, I hope you at least had a good reception :|
vcapelo 19
Well I think it's funny!
pexy_fml 16
Is that a real priest ? They can say things like bang xP?
xStaciexLynnx 15
I think OP probably means officiant, as in the person who marries a couple, not priest. I think priest is used only for Catholics and a catholic priest must be male.
doctorhook86 25
72: Agreed for sure. That said, a "priest" can come from any of a variety of denominations, Catholic is just the most common such group.
baileylaidlaw 6
Obviously not a real priest.