Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML
Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML
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Top comments
crackberrie 0
creepy!!! how come you haven't changed your number? (it sounds like this person has been stalking you for a while from your post)
teehee520 0
Creepy... Happy birthday tho!
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Comments (90)
englishmuffin 0
Happy birthday! FYL. Why does your stalker have your number? If he's a legit stalker, you should block his number or change your own. Otherwise, I'm guessing he is more of an acquaintance whom you don't quite return feelings for. Also, I usually ignore these things, but remember: "i" before "e" except after "c." Sorry, but in a FML this concise, the word just stuck out like a sore thumb.
akvandervort 21
Actually, if you are referring to the word "received," she spelled it correctly. You're an idiot. I like how you tried bashing the OP when in reality you just made yourself look dumb. Congratulations.
Nintenduh1 0
It was after a 'c'...? :P
usmingan 0
dear #15, before you correct somebody, you should make sure there's something to correct. :P
iljajlm 4
That rule is bullshit...it works on like five words in the English language. idiot
po_ta_to 0
It IS after 'c'. You just made yourself look stupid.
Stephanieeex3 0
Well, let's look at the bright side, love. Now you have oodles of Happy Birthday wishes, thanks to your birthday being so shitty.. rotlfmao l: HAPPY BIRFDAYYYY o: Creepers, ftw l:
_MLSBIDGAF 0
LAWL~ Well, aweee ! That really does suck. You should have told him to come over and give you some "Birthday sex". Hey, some sex, is better than none @ all. AND CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT "OP" MEANS?! I've been wanting to know for like, everrrrr. Happy late birthdayyyyyyy
my_fml_account 2
original post(er), the FML we're all commenting on in this case
xxjoexx 0
He remembered? That is so sweet you should send him a picture of you sleeping......Of course if he is a stalker worth his salt he probably already has several.
DrMorbid 0
Haha, win!
xxMiiNii 0
I don't think anyone really is that lonely. Your stalker must be some form of comfort which exists in your head only. Happy Birthday anyway.
szyth 0
hahahahahaha awesome!
Antivirus_fml 0
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Oh i mean HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
plethora 3
I hate to nitpick (Ha!) but what the shit does his accent have to do with anything?
KitCath_fml 0
Well if he isn't actually Japanese, him singing in a Japanese accent is just adding to the weirdness...
plexico 4
You ought to get down on your knees and blow the stalker, since you have no candles to blow because no one else cares about you enough to get you a cake. You need to hook up with the stalker. Once he gets to know the real you, he'll abandon you like everyone else already has. Happy Birthday, though! Cheers!
taoxyeuxmay 4
umm, are you trolling? that was actually funny. haha
lilbitch123 0
grow up.
plexico 4
I'm just trying to have a little fun. Look, when your write an FML, you are not requesting a group hug and moral support. This is not the place for that. With all the jokers and douchebags commenting here, do you think you would post a real painful episode in your real life? I wouldn't. I'd only post some things that I found ridiculous or see if I could sneak a fake in. My favorite day of the year is April Fools' Day!
bexox 0
Agreed, plexico. That also goes for the people that say things like "OMG this is not an FML because ____". It's not a support website for genuinely horrible things in life, it's meant for things that are a little crazy or ironic. God, I wouldn't post anything on here either unless it was something I could deal w/ being criticized by a bunch of 13-year-olds for.
sleepreader 0
plexico, you are amazing. I actually look through the comments before I read them to see if you've written anything... does that make me creepy? damn, and I'm Japanese... but I don't have an accent...
skittlefreak101 1
Well, sorry to hear about the stalker, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Always be happy, cuz it means you've lived another year!