hopeless
Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
andi0804
United States
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Meowit
Livonia, United States
Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML
Anonymous
United States
The one that got away
Today, the only person who remembered my birthday was my stalker ex. He left condoms, birth control, furry handcuffs, and a lingerie set in my mailbox, with a note saying to prepare for our anniversary. We went out for a week. In sixth grade. FML
Snurkles
Canada
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
poorgary
France
Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Unhappy birthday
Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML
Anonymous
Brookline, United States
Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths
Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML
Anonymous
Moncton, Canada
Thanks, babe
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
dentistftw
United States
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Top comments
spadesghost 1
go out with him, at least he's punctual.
orangeinstat 0
did he get you a present?
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Comments (191)
Kolden 11
sorry
MaskingTape 2
sorry? your stalker at least loves you more than your family. I'd say invite him in, what harm could that do? maybe you'll get a present.
gutzz 0
he's saying sorry for knocking on the door so loud.
Lexi_Luvz_Ya 0
win!^
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
At least you know he cares! I only stalk the guts I really love(: Happy Birthday op!!(:
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
*girls :P Autocorrect is my stalker, she follows me everywhere. I know just how to turn her off, but I'd be lonely without her. D:
urdirtyolduncle 15
lol!! omg, troll! how I've missed u. where the hell have you been?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I've been on the moon! I've got Martian vaginas and alien crispies, if you're interested.
Anyoniemous 0
You found Martian's on the moon?
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Martians moved to the moon after Al Gore convinced them of global warming. They're regretting that decision.
VorpikeII 17
so is Al Gore as he is currently hurtling towards the sun strapped to a rocket.
pimplayer 0
al gore was genuinly trying to help the world. people always say if global warming is true than why is it so cold. lemme hit you with some knowledge global warming simply means we will have hotter summers and colder winters therefore cutting off fall and spring. my point is eventually the weather will change so dramaticly that humans will no longer be able to live on earth. *pimped slapped*
lulzcow 0
hey at least someone cares. you should have invited him in for a late dinner and birthday sex.
SweetMonkey15 3
109 I always thought auto correct was a boy lol
spadesghost 1
go out with him, at least he's punctual.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Exactly. Awww, OP I think that's just the sweetest thing ever! Lol. Did you invite him in?
damselchelle 4
I don't think OP wouldve been able to share this FML if she wouldve invited him in.
ImaWiseGuy 5
I would think your obligated at this point.....
JEHughes 13
party with them if you really have nothing to do.
forest1wolf 9
exactly what I thought!
FriskyTaco 0
This reminds me of the next-door neighbor on two and a half men..
orangeinstat 0
did he get you a present?
broccoli2 0
he's a keeper.
gutzz 0
creeper*
YayaInLalaLand 0
I'm pretty sure he mean 'keeper' in a very sarcastic tone. Fail
Thanatos1206 0
Really 23? I'm pretty sure 18 was joking.
gutzz 0
lol, Ty 24. I guess my level of jokes is just too advanced for some people sometimes....
Snackbars 0
24 why can't you take a joke? 23 was obviously just joking.
gutzz 0
I don't knowwwww, didn't sound like a joke in my head. seemed more like 23 has a grammar nazi problem and jumped at the chance to correct "one"
cptmorgan15 2
Ya, 23's an idiot.
docscientist 10
I'm certain 45 was joking. Come on!
gutzz 0
57, I was obviously joking...
thatguy205 4
Whatever number posts under me is clearly joking. Damn you people need to relax.
cloudy01 0
OVERLOAD!
gutzz 0
nah, 64 is just joking guys
SoundnVasion 0
My cousin corey thinks life is a joke, he's in high school.
gutzz 0
70- that's gonna get old real quick.... like 2 minutes ago.
LSU33DucKAholiC 0
haha sooo just joking :)
VorpikeII 17
we need to stop joking around here ppl. ;P
mz_booty 0
lol gutzz u crack me up!!!
fluorescentadole_fml 8
45 "your angush sustains me" that's brilliant, I'll be using that! thanks
JeanVaJean 6
............ i
Thanatos1206 0
He rang it at noon? Why???
lobojojo 1
no at midnight
james_aka_frosty 3
*facepalm* it was a joke. jeez what's wrong with people these days why does no one understand jokes anymore.
gutzz 0
wait... everything sounds funny in my head...
alex1432 9
maybe #6 goes by military time?
Thanatos1206 0
Nope I was joking.
Autoshot 9
FML comments used to be fun to read.
hidrox94 5
Happy Birthday, OP!
my_usagi 0
that ******* sucks lol
MyNameIsBruce 0
Surprise!
makavella 0
Lol Awww;)) lmao at #2