Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
Nanall 15
You're lucky it didn't get stolen
bluebell707 13
Lovely.
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Comments (104)
bluebell707 13
Lovely.
zbajis 7
what a fun ride home! :)
tgd4444 9
luckily it wasnt stolen.
LordGoober 13
He could throw up through a "slightly open" window, he's got some talent.
bravesfan112233 0
Why would he go out of his way to barf in your car?
BraBrando 0
She's lucky the bum didn't tell dirty mike and the boys bout her car...
jayalexander 7
OP drives a red prius with crack on the hood and a missing door...
toastyjustice 5
go beat the piss out of him
UnicornHunter 12
"slightly open". So, the bum must've shot his barf in a straight line to go through the crack, huh?
cmfh88 0
Thanks for the F shack. ....... -Dirty Mike & the boys
Kyzahhh 7
atleast the car wasn't used during a mass orgy of homeless men
hollyman 0
I love that movie
halofan48 0
And it was in the drivers seat... Learn to love the smell!!!!
CattyPurry 0
i'm sure you can find a Febreeze spray in Walmart.
sugarbear444 0
lmaoo..
TheHoboWerewolf 0
62 that was THE funniest shit I've heard all day! Thank you!
baseball6917 8
should've gave him that dollar he asked for
Niz_DD 14
Oh well, at least dirty mike and the boys didn't decide to have a soup kitchen in your car.
Niz_DD 14
Oh wow, I did not read the other comments before posting that one lol
MangoRico1 1
Better than a bathroom...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I dunno about that.. D:
TheGianaJinx 0
It's pretty damn sexy when a hobo barfs in your car.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Only if it's a female hobo.. I'm not gay :D
atthegates 0
Brings back fond memories of caddyshack....
TheGianaJinx 0
No no. ONLY MALE HOBOS ARE SEXY /: They have that delicious scrabbly beard.
oboewhore_xD 6
Female hobos can still have beards...(;
TheGianaJinx 0
WELL... I guess you are right. Next time I go to the gas station I'll pick up a nice female hobo.
sarabraun8 7
crazy people.
sandyandellie 5
it's how they show respect. hehe
Nanall 15
You're lucky it didn't get stolen
CryMoreFMLs 15
Vomit is cleanable, stolen cars not so retrievable.
TheGianaJinx 0
She's lucky that the car didn't get stolen, but now she is even LUCKIER she gets to clean barf! Wait... Am I the only one that likes cleaning barf here? xD
CryMoreFMLs 15
I prefer to eat it. Each to their own though.
BraBrando 0
5, when did you become a poet?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Insanity makes me many things. A poet is definately not one. The rhyme was unintentional.
eminemchick 19
32 i find cleaning barf fun, too. like drinking blood! But like for both, i get nauseated after a while.
ExtremeEncounter 32
Are you people just too lazy to read? "windows SLIGHTLY open". Yeah, Mr. Incredible will totally jack that shit.
marlie_x 8
Have a nice drive home OP
sweetheartxoxo88 7
That sucks to an unbelievable degree, but you should have know better than to leave your windows open.
musicfreak9821 6
well sometimes If you don't, the car will be even more humid then it was outside. As long as you don't open it fully...
sweetheartxoxo88 7
Well, there's a big difference between cracking your window to let out the heat and opening it enough for someone to vomit through. There is also a big difference between the words then and than.
joooeee 3
You know what they say," crack a window for a crackhead"
dsbs 9
No
fcbarca17 0
Yeahhh...just stop talking now
joooeee 3
Sorry that was almost as bad as the time I got with this ugly chick
fcbarca17 0
its ok alcohol makes you do some crazy things...its happened to all of us
nuggin0917 1
just, no
margie2194 12
No one says that
CryMoreFMLs 15
Cocaine is one hell of a drug.
picupbart 0
are you kidding me, I use that saying non stop... that kind of stuff comes up in conversations ALL the time :)
getviolated 5
I cringed when I read this.
picupbart 0
I cringed when I read your name, bahahahaha... but I keed the 'getviolated' ;D
getviolated 5
idk if I should be offended or confused, so I'll be both, so **** YOU(?)
picupbart 0
bahahahahahaha, Im not even insulted this response was actually kinda funny... better than arguments you see in YouTube comment boxes, :D lol
getviolated 5
well that's because I'm ******* hilarious
sammybearbby 6
that's ******* gross,
babygirrl 4
Lol yeah it really is . I would hate having to drive home !
getviolated 5
you know what's gross, liking the Bulls and the Knicks. ONE OR THE OTHER DAMMIT
BraBrando 0
What really would have been worse was if OP didn't smell or notice it. Just picture sitting in it. Go on, try to picture that.
FckYoCOUCH 6
No, it's ******* awesome?
MrSexyPants 14
Vomit baking on a worm day...lovely. I am so sorry.
fcbarca17 0
Warm*
MrSexyPants 14
Nope, it's definitely worm.
AmethystRain 20
The "weather" shouldn't even be a factor. Roll your windows up before you leave the car. It's common sense.
CryMoreFMLs 15
You're in my dreams?!?! Stop being the reason I'm insane! Get out of my head! All I did was creep on people!
manatees_r_epic 0
Where I am it's so hot that if you don't crack the window the heat gets so unreal that the window/windshied busts.
AmethystRain 20
Okay, I can see a minor crack for ventilation, that's fine... But no matter how talented someone is in "vomit theatrics", they can't puke through a one-inch crack. OP is lying, probably to hide the fact that the window was all the way down.