Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML
Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML
Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML
Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML
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Top comments
g0dless 15
Helplessly? Couldn't "throw" down a flower pot or anything? Come on movies have taught us better OP!
Dramori 29
Pee off the balcony onto the teen!
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Comments (113)
Lct1196 31
I guess you could say he was...pissed off. Ahh, cheesy peeing jokes
adam3650 12
If you have cheesy pee, you may want to consider visting a clinic...
flockz 20
or a pizzeria.
thepunman 11
He'll Brie right back.
TheBrochure 22
#38 - peezzeria. :)
g0dless 15
Helplessly? Couldn't "throw" down a flower pot or anything? Come on movies have taught us better OP!
capslockisgood 19
He didn't throw anything because the kid was right next to his car..
g0dless 15
Don't take everything you read on the internet so seriously, it takes the fun out of it.
xStaciexLynnx 15
In all seriousness, I would have at least started yelling. Why would you just stand there and watch?
g0dless 15
Definitely, there was no need for him to stand helplessly but I guess it made for a good FML post!
wlddog 14
Whatever happened to owning a bb gun? That sounds like the best way to get revenge.
JACKxRAWR 22
I'm with #59 here. A .20g plastic pellet to the nutsack would have the bastard thinking twice the next time he tries to piss on or in anything that's not his.
goose12321 11
BB gun? How about real gun. One less ******** in the world wouldn't be a bad thing.
JACKxRAWR 22
#101, make that two - the guy who pissed in OP's car and OP for getting life in prison and giving the gun control crowd a slightly bigger hardon for banning any and all firearms.
Dramori 29
Pee off the balcony onto the teen!
goose12321 11
No because then OP would be the bad guy for retaliating or some shit, instead of knowing better and politely asking him to stop. /sarcasm.
katamine 17
Why was your car window open..?
nephilim241 19
^ what she said, could have been worse, he could have stolen it/things from it!
s15c 9
How about just a new seat and carpeting? That's a bit less expensive.
naxeeb 33
Why'd you keep your car's window open? :/
LaLince 40
Next time close the windows.
zingline89 18
This is precicely why I always keep a grenade launcher on my balcony.
BlowinChronic 18
That's too obvious. People will see you. Just rig the car with a bomb and keep the detonator with you so if this ever happens you just press a button.
citygirl28 11
yeah who wants a car with pee on the seat when you can have a burning pile of scrap metal!
EvilUndead 9
18, installing a remote-controlled teargas trap, flashbang, shocker or a flamethrower would be more practical, imo.
RedPillSucks 33
Rig your windows to work like a guillotine. Instant de-dicker. The worst thing you'd have on your seat is pieces of dick and some blood. Hmm.... Ok, maybe the pee isn't so bad.
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't let that dampen your day. :) But it sure is gonna dampen your seats.
noelasis94 18
When nature calls you gotta do what you gotta do. On the flip side what he had to do was funny yes shitty no, but entirely juvenile get this taken care of.
MGITSWFTC 17
You were in a prime position to pee on his head, OP