Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I was working as a valet when an old guy came up and wanted us to park his car. He said he had an accident. We looked in the car and saw poop all over the seat. We still had to park the car. FML
Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML
Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML
Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
momo3p 22
These damn bird people
Avi8r 22
Well the customer is always right...
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Comments (42)
momo3p 22
These damn bird people
iMuffinKat 16
At least the man didn't poop ON his car
Dune1988 18
well thats shitty
Avi8r 22
I don't see how people can still make this comment and not expected to be buried
False_Stupidity 42
I think they do expect to be buried but make the comment anyhow to get it out there or something.
Avi8r 22
Well the customer is always right...
silky_mitts 11
I heard that it washes off easier than bird poop
Kallian_fml 21
Don't worry OP, the same thing happened to me at work. But then again, I work with 2 year olds...
swanheart 35
Don't think I've ever met a drunk two year old lol
ragnarok1540 39
You haven't seen a dunk 2 year old before? I guess you don't watch honey boo boo. I hear that "go-go juice" is 1 part vodka, 1 part coffee, with a splash Mountain Dew thrown in for flavor. Apparently it's all the rage on the playgrounds these days.
Kallian_fml 21
2 year olds are drunk all the time. Have you never noticed the way they stumble around slurring their words?
XxDanno316xX 27
Brace yourselves, the shit puns are coming.
Fuhkyoo 17
well that's... unfortunate.
kenyrabit 25
To be fair, they had particularly shitty timing.
Thoricsteam20 24
Well they weren't lying.
lexiieeex3 32
Hopefully it wasn't diarrhea Oy
ragnarok1540 39
I don't think that's the right kind of "business" that you are looking for. You should redirect the man to the real toilet, down at the police station ...
Calingaladha 21
Look at the bright side, nobody will want to steal that good ornament.
Calingaladha 21
*hood. Just caught that.