Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
Today, I was walking to my car when I saw a large man walking behind me. I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, but the door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. I then realized that it wasn't even my car. As I walked away from it, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML
Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said, "Excuse me…" The lady then maced me through the open window. FML
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Top comments
bloopaloop 27
That's way too much effort for a fart. We all fart and we all know it. Just step outside, rip it, and go back in. Making the effort to not do it in the room suffices
RichardPencil 32
Most people fear car bombs!
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
Most people fear car bombs!
bloopaloop 27
That's way too much effort for a fart. We all fart and we all know it. Just step outside, rip it, and go back in. Making the effort to not do it in the room suffices
jbuckets_404 39
Oh, you have one of those organically-sourced car alarms, too?
GamerChickxoxo 16
Why would you go to your car to fart ? why not just fart outside,insted of gas chambering yourself in your car.My coworkers like to walk past busy parts of the building snickering as they fart and yell "drive buy" as everyone else suffers.i work with a bunch of old ladies tho.
alycion 39
I had a neighbor rip one so loud when I was walking my dog that they scared him and he started barking at them. Perhaps you are related.
protoskore 27
why not do it in the open air?
chris_lillo 15
This is an FML for that guy, not you
zuckerburg 21
yea, who need a bathroom, right. car-farting is where it's at! and who knows, maybe OP follows up with another FML about how the people she was with needed a ride back.... lol....