Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
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Top comments
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Urine trouble now OP
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's nasty as hell! Sorry OP
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Comments (93)
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's nasty as hell! Sorry OP
MoneyStacks 4
Nah, really? I though it wasn't supposed to be nasty o.0 Retard
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Both of these comments were unnecessary. Some may argue that mine was, too, but I just wanted to point that out. *skitters away*
Dr0reos 8
This sounds like the beginning of a billy mayes infomercial. *Nobody can deny the bacteria killing power of HOBO PISS!!*
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Urine trouble now OP
reallytho3 11
You get a gold star for that lol
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Or a gold shower.. No? Just Op then.
mario2012 18
Cum on now 2. Are you really gonna do those puns?
Pleonasm 36
Oh, it's on alright.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
#21- Yes i am haha, sorry if it's pissing you off, can't wee all agree that some peeople like to pun all the time :L?
Pleonasm 36
OP would have to be pee-brained to leave his driver window open, it takes no science whiz to know that.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Wets the problem here, isn't it pissible for us to make a few lame jokes with our peers without being judged? Urologist jealous.
raycj 1
Urane about to tell that homeless guy off are you?
ManInTheMachine 20
Well that was a piss-poor pun, 44. Way to spring a leak in the flow of the thread. I guess it's all down the drain now.
ptoka 20
Every time someone makes their own home made cleaning agent everyone gets pissed.
wickedninja918 1
well op's in a salty situation now isn't she
Teyros 24
Lol someone has a dirty mind, and a wrong idea.
ohSNAPyall 27
13 tinkle tinkle little star
witchdoctor1 9
Hey. He's entitled toilet his opinion out. It may piss you off a little bit, but let it go, he's just being a wee bit of a buzzkill. Don't be such a wet blanket. Just smile and winkie that he tried his best ;P
lsu24 2
Oh I thats a good one!! Haha I almost didn't get it.
zionjuggernext 3
We need to start living in 'pee'ce
buck33 14
Maybe urine is a good cleaner? No... Probably not...
buck33 14
Read it wrong the first time. I volunteer as human sacrifice.
Jollygreen630 1
Well, pee does have ammonia in it…
onlychildFTW 34
Pee isn't a good cleaner. Not at all. And it never will be.
buck33 14
61 - Hence the "No... Probably not..."
raycj 1
I love your profile pic lol
kikiwi_fml 9
Urine is the secret to a streak free shine.
hama806 19
...and it's the most sterile body fluid there is. But still, you need a shower, immediately!
ohSNAPyall 27
5 Just be sure to wipe front to back window.
djinnsnme 19
I would have put up the window as soon as I saw him coming!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I don't know why the window would be open anyway, it's pretty cold this time of year!
Baconman345 9
What a piss-poor job he did at cleaning
loserman67 36
New, Windex with urine, gives your windows that streak-free shine and yellowish hue. I work in the depths of Philadelphia, Pa. and whenever the homeless start walking towards my car, I make sure my winndows are up and the dorrs are locked. I suggest you learn from your experience
mykelinva 4
Did he expect more of a tip for the cologne spray?
OldMemoriesFade 8
It was nice of him to try and clean your windows, I suppose.
joe502 3
It is called he needed a few bucks for his next crack fix.... I am sorry to say but I believe you have given a bad name to the Dumass Family...
martin_martian7 11
I'm never going to trust hobos with their sprays! >.