Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML

Happy New Year to all the cats out there

Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

Paper day

Today, it's mine and wife's one-year anniversary. After only being married for a year, I quickly understood what her father really meant when he said, "Your problem now" and chuckled at our wedding. FML

Check out Hank Pecker's Chadvice

Today, it's now exactly one year until I turn 30 and I’ve never been with a woman before. I know that it’s over for me. FML

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though. With my cat. FML

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

Sounds wonderful

Today, I spent the thirty second consecutive day in a row seeing no one but my cat. FML

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML