Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, it's been three years since my sister gave me a kitten. Coincidentally, it’s also been three years since I've had sex. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
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Top comments
HandaPitler 1
One down. 99 to go
lolfood 24
Better to have no man than a shitty one.
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Comments (86)
HandaPitler 1
One down. 99 to go
sighawkward 6
I'm almost thirty.. I can start hearing the meows now.. Sighhhhh.
benwshngtn5 2
At least you finally got some pussy!
BlinkandRHCP 7
Well, at least she wants you to be happy!
zandalee 20
My cat makes me very happy! :)
doodlecloud 27
2 - Not really. OP's sister is either mean or just incredibly stupid. You can't shove that kind of responsibility on people. I really hope OP already kind of wanted a cat, for her sake and the cat's.
kaybee41906 13
I get where you're coming from, but cats aren't actually that much responsibility...
PandaSmile 24
Maybe you're just hard to buy gifts for? Hey at least you have some company now, just don't get the cat 9 more friends :)
allisadawn91 8
Well you are 35...
feldco1 17
which is still young enough to find the right person for her!
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Exactly :) anyone of any age can find love, it's never too late!
Clearly 7
Well first off happy birthday! Second, you got a cat for your birthday!
Mmkay1515 21
I mean she has a point...
lolfood 24
Better to have no man than a shitty one.
retyi43 14
I couldn't agree more. I hate that it's some kind of social taboo to be single. Most people I see in relationships are miserable together anyway (one of my sources being this site).
Melolssa 8
Kill the cat. It will prevent others from giving you cats in the future. hope this advice helped and happy birthday :)
tanekdrachonae 19
There is nothing wrong with being single.
jedster_999 6
Unless you're 35, according to OP's sister.
kemic 7
"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this with you."
TheInvisibleOne 31
Hey, free cat!
lilhellian 27
The cat may be free, but now op has a feline overlord!
DKjazz 20
I, for one, welcome our feline overlords.
doodlecloud 27
Maybe she escaped the initial cost but now she has to pay for cat food and vet bills for the next like 15 years...so unless OP was planning to get a cat already, it's more of a loss financially.
Quiet_one 22
No animal is really free when you factor in the cost of taking care of it for the rest of its life, and to "gift" a pet to someone who wasn't already planning to get one is irresponsible and rude. OP's sister sounds like an idiot. And thanks to overpopulation, getting a cat for "free" isn't anything special - I didn't pay a cent to get either of mine, and I wasn't even looking for the second one. I'm happy with the 2 I have, but if someone gave me a pet as a gift now I'd be pissed - that's a huge responsibility to force on someone.
jackaced 7
Since when are free cats hard to find?
TheInvisibleOne 31
Well, I figured the sister probably got the cat from a shelter or something so it already has its shots and everything, rather than picking some mangy feral thing off the streets.