Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Pathetic? Hardly! Those monsters under the bed are only slightly scarier than the ones in the closet. It's a damned good thing you have such good protection.
josebaseball11 14
Well if you haven't been attacked by monsters yet, then they're doing a good a job.
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Comments (271)
moles 3
this is great, don't change.
conversekid2332 10
the monsters will only swept them away and go for the target....great now I'm scared! !
yeongji 31
Everyone has their own fears and their own ways to handle those fears.
meggleskm 7
That's not pathetic, OP! I'm 21 and I still occasionally sleep with the covers over my head to protect me from monsters and such.
nancy_ydg17 11
Thug life
blackpuddle 30
I'm 30 have tons of stuffed animals on the bed, more on the floor by the bed, and more in a thing by the door. And my boyfriend doesn't mind. In fact, he's thinking of bringing over his from his parent's house.
KimmyCupZ 21
I honestly see problem with this. I have three very large teddies who have same duties as your teddies, OP. ^^,
mandyrozrox 13
don't worry, some of us still do that :P
Satoshi08 5
Good thing I sleep in a Japanese futon. Hehe damn monsters can't get under my bed now but the closet hmm....
blackonblight 33
"There's a monster that lives 'neath your bed... Oh for crying out loud, it's a futon on the floor, he must be flat as a board." And now I'll be singing 'Goodnight Demonslayer' for a while. Which is fine, it's a grand song. "I won't tell you there's nothing 'neath your bed. I won't sell you that it's all in your head. This world of ours is not as it seems, the monsters are real but they're not in your dreams. Learn what you can from the beasts you defeat, you'll need it for some of the people you'll meet."
kaymarie929292 2
I'm 22 and still sleep with my blankie. I'm all about keeping childhood memories