Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Pathetic? Hardly! Those monsters under the bed are only slightly scarier than the ones in the closet. It's a damned good thing you have such good protection.
josebaseball11 14
Well if you haven't been attacked by monsters yet, then they're doing a good a job.
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Comments (271)
Infinity1337 11
Well we know who's not getting laid anytime soon!
pmf1495 2
This made me smile (: you sound incredibly cute (:
etishuman22 32
I'm 23 and still sleep with stuffed animals. Ain't no shame, mah friend.
codexide 11
I am right there with you! I made sure to get a Batman and a Captain America plushie because I knew Id be the safest possible then! :)
jmacfan1 16
That's not pathetic. It's cute. I'm 22 and I have 12 stuffed animals on my bed one of them being a stuffed mouse I've had since I was a year old, about 20 or so guarding my window one of those is a stuffed dog I've had since I was born, and a giant stuffed wolf guarding my door. No monsters are gonna get me.
Andrai 10
For the longest time I'd have ALL of my stuffed animals in bed with me and try to hug all of them...because it would hurt they're feelings if I didn't. No shame! Toys are the best to protect you.c:
tWest13 10
Sounds like u just need more.
miSsFlien 15
I think its adorable. My brother of 22 still has his very first stuffed animal and when you take it away in his sleep, he will cry.
homes7d 14
Your cute don't stop be a kid
Borngemini77 9
I wish I still had my teddies. But they went to watch over my boys and keep the monsters away from them.