Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
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Top comments
enchi999 8
Should've asked him to repeat himself
tatsmcgrath 4
Why would your dad even say that? That makes things akward!
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Comments (123)
enchi999 8
Should've asked him to repeat himself
rhaemese 9
I wonder what OP heard in his head to have said "she sure is".
zandalee 20
Bloody Dads. They are getting worse I recon...
sprinklecakes 4
Nobody's perfect.
22cute 17
You're Dad's the bastard, clearly. Is this the first time he said rude things to your date/GF ? Because if not YDI for failing to look out for her.
mikeofthunder 13
Clearly OP's dad was joking - not a great joker, sure - but it must've been the innocent agreement from him that made his girlfriend dumb his ass
gladstone123 5
Isn't OP's girlfriend a little too sensitive? Even if OP didn't realize what was said, it's probably a joke.
AKGirlinSD 20
Another troll dad in an FML! Maybe there's a secret society for dads that teach them how to troll their teenagers. If your dad wasn't a troll, he would have tried to clarify or make a joke out of it and help you get your ex back. Good luck!
omgitsshorti 5
Ydi. Next keep your mouth shut, just in case.
PlayWithElmo 7
Wondering why in the world this got thumbed down.
LightningCactus 12
Because he was being humorous, not entirely a YDI.
Marcella1016 32
Because OP didn't deserve it, and how should he know to keep his mouth shut? All he probably heard was "Oh! So you're Dan's (mumble mumble mumble)!" He probably just thought his dad said "girlfriend". For his gf AND friends to not listen to his explanation ("OMG I'm SO sorry my dad is such a jerk! I thought he said girlfriend!"), and for her to break up with him over a miscommunication like that, he doesn't need to be with her anyway. She sounds like a drama queen.
Renesaga 8
Honestly, I kinda misread the FML and thought the dad was saying Dan's girlfriend was slammin', which is a compliment. So, Dan probably thought "Oh hey. He said she's slammin'. Better agree." I don't see this as a YDI; not at all.
downtime 13
Further to 70's point, this girl needs a sense of humour and learn to not take shit so seriously. If he constantly calls her this and treats her like shit then it's totally understandable, if it's a once off thing or something he only does when goofing around then get the **** over it. You can't expect your partner to always get everything right so she needs to try overlooking some of the stupid shit and not make a big deal out of nothing.
NIRVANA1990s 1
oh thats not good...I'm sorry
bananagrams 9
No shit
olpally 33
You should be sorry!!! How dare you cost op his girlfriend, you prick!
Pentium_4 27
don't give up. there's plenty more slam pieces out there!
tatsmcgrath 4
Why would your dad even say that? That makes things akward!
DKParth13 5
Awkwardness when awkward is spelled wrong!
SpottedZebra42 14
6 - You just answered your own question.
rico1ness 2
Hahaa awkward
twofirstnames 12
Great dad you have there..
22cute 17
I would have walked out then and there, Op
downtime 13
Good riddance then?
I_lost_the_game 25
They may have the same friends, and she told them.
AshBop 5
Your dad is frat as ****.
Spacibo100 9
haha
AshBop 5
I find it quite amusing that nobody has heard the term "slampiece" before. Maybe I just spend too much time reading Total Frat Moves....
lukep135 6
The same thing kind of happens to me when someone tells me something and I didn't quite catch it, so I just smile and nod. Turns out it was a question
MeLuvBewbs 7
What does that even mean...
gracehi 33
It means urbandictionary.com
RedPillSucks 33
That comment goes well with your profile pic
hockeyoceancity 13
41- The profile picture is of Snooki, saying if she had the brain power to think, it would be blank. She is the defination of everything disgusting.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Yes 74, I believe that was/is the point. No need to explain who snooki is.
Jaxx66 21
12- just think about it for a bit. You may have to put your mind in the gutter while you do this, to get an accurate meaning.
brommwpryl 9
Definition*