Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Pathetic? Hardly! Those monsters under the bed are only slightly scarier than the ones in the closet. It's a damned good thing you have such good protection.
josebaseball11 14
Well if you haven't been attacked by monsters yet, then they're doing a good a job.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (271)
wafflefriez91 17
I still have my doll I've had since forever, my two hello kittys, my dog, my mini dog that looks like my dog that passed away, and my jack skellington.
wafflefriez91 17
Oh i forgot my hello kitty blanky my fiancé gave to me. I am 22.
smurffyy 3
FINALLY .. I thought it was just me who did that :$ I keep 4 teddy bears for my security :$
Britterz 12
awwww ILL CUDDLE WITH YOU!!
AnimeAddict95 20
I have to say I am the opposite of you OP. I have never been able to sleep with stuffed animals not even when I was little. I tried once but it freaked me out so I threw it off the bed. But it's fine, whatever helps you sleep! I have to sleep with a night light on and I'm 18.
JustSomeGirl199 9
Are you dead yet?! No! Show some gratitude to them... they've done an amazing job!
HilarityOfLife 8
You've raised them well OP Mine are too eager to fight and I wake up with all of them on the floor, stabbing spears under my bed. I guess they need more training.
hattergonemad 10
And the first thing that comes to mind is... Are you a Little? If you don't know what that means, keep looking till you do, because it sounds decidedly plausible.
jubjub86 7
Monsters are real! Don't let the media fool you! And only stuffed animals can protect you, they scare the monsters away with cuteness.
MusicBox1011 2
That is not pathetic it's freakin adorable lolz