Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
Today, and for the past month, I'm so lonely that I fall asleep holding my teddy bear's paw for comfort. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML
Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Pathetic? Hardly! Those monsters under the bed are only slightly scarier than the ones in the closet. It's a damned good thing you have such good protection.
josebaseball11 14
Well if you haven't been attacked by monsters yet, then they're doing a good a job.
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Comments (271)
ramu_12317 10
I'd do that too.. only I font have enough money to buy new plushies with my student loans..FML
hannahnicole3196 4
So cute. Never too old!!
TheLittleBear 19
I took my stuffed elephant on my honeymoon. You never what kind of monsters they have under hotel beds!
fyrtiosexarton 12
You are awesome! I have to do this too.. Although my army consists of a bunny, a smurf & a monkey :P
Metalkitty 15
It's okay, OP, it's hard for me to sleep by myself with curtains open and visible mirrors in darkened rooms... ._.
jensen21 19
Uo
BratOfInsanity 7
that's just fine. stay you sweetie :)
kumarina 35
Honestly I think this is adorable
DarkAngelsBlade 25
That's ******* cute as hell.
shoti 5
:-)