Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DeeJayD 0
Wait a minute. You're at boarding school. It was in the guest house. What's wrong with this picture? Your parents are either just assholes, or phenomenally stupid.
dudewithface 0
happy birthday :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
Phillay632 0
Aww, poor baby. Given that your parents are wealthy enough to own a guest house, I'm sure you were expecting a new BMW for your 18th birthday. I can see how you'd be devastated. That's rough. FYL.
lhazz11 23
Maybe you missed the fact that they forgot his birthday in the first place.
SixthSinEnvy 39
Someone sounds jealous...
crazy_bananas 31
Aww poor baby, it sounds like you're a jealous little bitch :')
genius_man16 1
#9 i think the parents were assuming he just had it and was saving it for when he got home or something. I do agree thought that it's pretty dumb of them to do that. I understand that parents want their kids to stay clean but really? i mean, if they found the weed at home then all they had to do was throw it away and not even say anything.
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
@11 They only got him an Audi. :'( @12 I'd have not said anything and toked up myself.
Pandarsenic 0
Happy birthday, your parents are retarded.
lolyouareanidiot 0
The fact that you are at a boarding school should have tipped you off that your parents hate you.
memyselfandi_fml 0
#5 OP probably just wanted to hear some nice things from his parents on his birthday. who doesn't???? And it's his 18th!! And, he IS at boarding school. Not like he's at home. So cut him some slack! Yea he's loaded but that really doesn't have anything to do with the fml post now does it. (i've assumed that the OP is a guy for grammatical purposes)
invindia93 0
Get over it. I haven't gotten birthday presents or a "happy birthday" in 3 years. I'm 15 now.
hobbsicle805 0
well, a big FYL to you!
mirandasanda 1
i gotta say thats pretty unfair to you..... even if there isnt any presents at least saying happy birthday shoulf be expected.....
redhusk89 0
#16 is right ask anyone in college or on Facebook people call to say "hey it's my bday what are you up to?" maybe he called because his folks expect it. Some people actually like their folks (I still call mine at least three times a week). OP just get the test then go to a party get a bottle of chivas ( I would guess that if you're at a boarding school you can spring for the cost) then take a bunch of pictures send them to your folks with the caption "my drug of choice" obviously this isn't a good idea and I'm kidding but there are multiple ways of getting back at them for this over reaction.
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
@16, my point was, he should have waited for his parents to call him. Nobody calls somebody on their own birthday just to get them to say, "happy birthday".
Safko 0
That's so sad.