Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML
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Top comments
DeeJayD 0
Wait a minute. You're at boarding school. It was in the guest house. What's wrong with this picture? Your parents are either just assholes, or phenomenally stupid.
dudewithface 0
happy birthday :)
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Comments (92)
bryan314 0
Boarding school + no happy birthday is approximately equal to "these people shouldn't have spawned and have the emotional responsiveness of a cactus". For that, alone, OP, I say "Happy Birthday and remember this when YOU have kids." Each generation should do better than the previous, the good news is that your parents set the bar really LOW for you.
mfylife123 0
ok so people need to know that having a guest house DOES NOT necessarily make a person rich. my house in mexico has two guesthouses but my house that i primarily live in is a TINY house in san francisco. my parents don't even think they will be able to send me to a private university after i graduate. stop acting like you know so much about a person just because they have a guesthouse
could_be_funny 0
@OP - Awesome! it's my birthday too! But I'm 19 though, (born in 1990 obviously). Sucks about this situation, but make them feel bad about it after you take the the drug and passed (hopefully you do, because you said that particular weed wasn't yours, not that you don't smoke) make them buy you something expensive, not like they're not wealthy...
lolyouareanidiot 0
#54, you are wrong. Every single person with a guest house is rich. There is not one exception. Now get bent.
mattmag 0
at least youre mad rich. guest house AND boarding school? damn.
woeisme 0
this isn't even an fml -___- if its not yours and you're clean than you have nothing to worry about...however if you're NOT clean, then you go SOLD OUT BITCH. jk happy birthday :)
elliex3 0
wait wait wait. . . you have a guest HOUSE? and you go to boarding school? boo hoo.
ilovespam 0
stop being a spoiled bitch. no one cares about your birthday.
twilightgirl21 0
happy birthday. 18 is a great age. Your parents jumped to conculsions way to soon. Don't they trust you at all.
maaaaaz 0
Okay all of you guys dissing HER need to chill the **** out! First of all this person goes to my school. 1. Many students are on financial aid 2. Does it matter that she is rich? Are you guys jelous or somehting, maybe you guys should work your asses off like her parents did, than maybe someone will have respect for you 3. say bill gates lost 50% of his money, that would be a FML situation, but because his rich then it wont count? r u guys dumb 4. you didnt have to do somehting bad to go to boarding school, its for people who are looking for higjer standard of education! so again im sorry that you uneducated people wont make it big one day. 5. Our school has a drug/alcohol policy that could get her expelled! I'm pretty sure now that you know that,,, its ****** EH?!
shamen 0
you are a fucken dumb ass