Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML
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Top comments
DeeJayD 0
Wait a minute. You're at boarding school. It was in the guest house. What's wrong with this picture? Your parents are either just assholes, or phenomenally stupid.
dudewithface 0
happy birthday :)
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Comments (92)
5bye7 0
you sound like a rich asshole
laurisshnazzy 0
To the people saying he's in boarding school because his parents hate him or whatever, that's bullshit. I have a few friends in boarding school and they didn't go there because they "did something" to get there. They wanted to go. And they love it there, so the assumptions are kind of ignorant and uneducated.
xxpinkgurrlxx 0
Hello alex
FuzzMonkey09 0
UrLifeDoesntSuck is kind of an asshole, no?
Silhouette_fml 0
Happy birthday. Heh... it's like random people you don't even know on this site care more about your birthday than your parents do.
SilentGround 0
happy birthday dude, but that sucks. you figure that they'd probably realize it's not yours. bummmmer.
dcapp 0
this is dumb but happy birthday
sor_machine 0
I'm not very fond of rich kids; nevertheless, what your parents did was dick. Sorry to hear your big 18 didn't go too well. Hope you have a better one next year.
SilverInGray 25
You can't not like people just because they have money.
marisaichiban 0
"It's not my weed". That's what they always say.
Mnemic 6
Happy birthday! :) If that actually happened to me I don't think I would visit my parents a lot anymore...