Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my 15 year-old sister came home at 4 a.m. totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about drug abuse. FML
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Top comments
DeeJayD 0
Wait a minute. You're at boarding school. It was in the guest house. What's wrong with this picture? Your parents are either just assholes, or phenomenally stupid.
dudewithface 0
happy birthday :)
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Comments (92)
blushinFML 0
OMFG YOUR FAMILY HAS MONEY?!?!?! you deserve everything you get for being rich. how dare you be born to two parents who are well off?!
louisianagrrrrl 0
haha happy birthday! =] and if you're 18 now they can't make you take a drug test
Frlf 0
Happy Birthday =] Well, shit happens.
sunshyne84_fml 0
so what! if ur not doing drugs it shouldnt matter and once u turn 18 parents don't care anymore
jnic 0
Wow, what's with all the classist assholes on here? This coming from someone in a $28,000/year household.
OperationNicole_fml 0
That sucks (And being wealthy doesn't mean that your life isn't screwed up, to all of those that are being so dismissive. For one, people also need affection.) One year, everybody forgot my birthday. The worse is that I saw my entire family and a whole bunch of my friends on my birthday because I attended two other birthday parties, but no one noticed that because I wasn't being celebrated.
lolyouareanidiot 0
#32, I am not wrong. Her parents hate her, and so do the parents of your friends in boarding school. Doesn't matter if the kids like it there or not; their parents hate them.
demonkey_fml 4
I hope you are an only child because then you will be choosing their nursing home. I suggest something dark, dank, state-run and heavily populated with blood-thirsty cockroaches. Anyway, I would call them up the day after your birthday and remind them that they missed it due to their own extreme paranoia, that should net you a decent prezzie. ;-)) BTW, I don't understand the big deal everyone is making re.: boarding school. I went to public, but who cares-boarding school is still WAY better than the crappy Catholic school my siblings attended.
N2O1138 0
Happy birthday! My 18th birthday is tomorrow (the 29th)!
harro1337 0
Damn it does suck that your parents would screw up your future by ratting you out to the school In most private schools I know you get immediately expelled (for possession of drugs) but anyway, at least your from a wealthy family and you could bounce back.