Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Great opener
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
Right in the kisser
Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML
Today, thanks to puberty, I have an acne rash around my mouth. Rumors are already flying around school saying I have herpes. FML
Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML
Because of him
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Damn
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Stay safe, stay home
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML
Top comments
OcampoFTW 4
Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix!
GigaPudding_fml 24
What do you do with your dogs...?
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Comments (301)
ekkkke 0
So what your saying is you f*ck your dog
milly_11 4
Weirdo!
slowlydying1234 6
That's your own fault. You shouldn't have asked something so dumb.
perdix 31
If you are ******* dogs, why do you need to worry about your popularity among humans?
NotSuchAFunTime 9
There's a kid in my class that keeps repeatedly asking if you can from a horse..so you probably weren't the only one thinking it, but it should have just stayed in your mind... Ya know, before people assume youre in some creepy **** like the horse kid.
Daniruu 4
I've heard of this one guy who was ****** by a horse, they filmed it. I think he also died from that.
Takuya272727 16
Mr Hans, I believe. Google it, I'm sure you'll find the video. Can show to your classmate! Personally, too scared to look for / watch it.
brighteyes81 0
It was a donkey and yes the mans rectum exploded.
CatTTy 10
112 & 128: Yup. "Mr. Hands." One of the critics on Ruthless Reviews listed it in his top ten films of the year without explaining. By the time I realized what I'd clicked on, it was too late and couldn't be unseen. FML.
mierz 6
so did your dog tell you that cold sore it has isn't herpes?
sara_saturday 5
attention seeker
elisabeth1_fml 0
well I certainly wouldn't be putting that up on fml but then again I am not dumb enough to ask such a stupid question. reckon you deserve what's coming your way. what a ********
brighteyes81 0
Not dumb enough and I reckon in the same sentence. Irony?
elisabeth1_fml 0
oh dear how remiss of me to not use the English language the way it was intended. but I reckon I don't really give 2 hoots.
Shadow_Phantom 26
...why would you even ask that. At least ask the teacher when nobody's around... YDI.
lifecontroller 2
Why would you want to know?? Oh god...