Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Great opener
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
Right in the kisser
Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML
Today, thanks to puberty, I have an acne rash around my mouth. Rumors are already flying around school saying I have herpes. FML
Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML
Because of him
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Damn
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Stay safe, stay home
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML
Top comments
OcampoFTW 4
Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix!
GigaPudding_fml 24
What do you do with your dogs...?
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Comments (301)
fvckyoursadlife 0
do you get morality from morons?
steezy4you 3
no but you did
theten_fml 9
teacher: semen has sugars in it Op: why doesn't it taste sweet?
Jacobt24 19
No matter how many times I read this FML, it always make me giggle just imagining the look on everyone else's face after he asked that
flossybaben 0
why did you ask that? did you try!!!!
austinkiser 3
I'm sure everyone else was too scare to ask that question so gratz for u stepping up .... on second thought that's just really wrong
ygdrassil 17
Maybe you won't be popular but at least we know you get laid whenever you want (dogs still count!).
MetallicaRules19 4
Even people from different countries (me :D) are laughing at you OP, pretty soon all of the world will laugh at you
dolphincheddar 10
the golden rule. all embarrassing questions can be avoided by using google.
slitherbomb 0
So can you or not?! I need to know for a friend.
liquidfireKAN 0
69- I told you to keep that between us!
cyanne_fml 7
wow fyl :/ your name says it all too....
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Well there's the case of a guy pumping a koala in the anus and getting an STD.
bellakaykid 6
In my health class, someone asked if a period scabbed. Don't worry, there are other morons out there.
VorpikeII 17
You people really don't know do you? AIDS was from a guy ******* a monkey, so in pretty damn sure you can get an STD from a dog if it has them.
VorpikeII 17
You people really don't know do you? AIDS was from a guy ******* a monkey, so in pretty damn sure you can get an STD from a dog if it has them.
FreshSalad 1
Actually, AIDS in humans came from people eating monkeys with AIDS. That's a way you can transfer it but since humans don't eat humans we don't talk about it.
ohrlynao 0
I have a great solution: DON'T **** DOGS.
iLOLatURpain69 7
At least he didnt ask about horses.
ally_85 1
aw dont effe the poor puppy
R34luver 5
103 and 111- your both rong! the US goverment invented AIDS!!! its a conspiracy i tell ya, a conspiracy!!!! ;)
KYLAisaBITCH 4
143-I have heard that before...lol
FuniiBunii 0
U should've start laughing and make it seem as ur jking , even if it wouldn't sound funny it would be better than wt everyone thinks f u nw -.-
jjoyce6 0
Taking doggy style a little to literally?
icecreammintz 0
thats when you say well i was just wondering because i saw the guy next to me forcing his dog to rape him
TheChampagneBoi 5
wow lol
Jdeluxh 12
96 When I saw your comment, I looked up to check the name. I was seriously hoping the name would "doglover".
PrimeStarscream 30
A+ that was gold!
zendaddy0 0
out of all my years of interneting I can honestly sat WTF
Stiffilz 0
umm...no...it's ***********. Nice try though Justin Bieber.
cummbubble 0
clever, i bet you have done that before 187
shelbygordon44 7
157- English please....
suitgirl5 5
143 Could you be any more of an idiot. AIDS kills people all the time, what's next, polio and cancer are just made up?
nic7973 23
agree
JoshB_24 10
This would've been so much more credible if you had spelled "wrong" right.
dannnngthatsux 19
#103. Latest medical reports show it came from humans eating monkeys and apes, not screwing them. That's brucellosis you are thinking of.
CookieMonstr19 0
You probably should've thought that one through a bit more before u raised ur hand......good luck.
xlord 27
I think OP just likes it doggy style
YourEvilHero 12
today I found out out my daughter uses our hotdogs as a *****. fml
TaylorTotsYumm 10
39, Meg?
alfool 0
39 you look 18...
alfool 0
39 you look 18...
alfool 0
Ugh fml on my phone is double posting all the time now
AnonymousTroll 2
C-c-c-combo breaker!
mierz 6
do you still eat them
VorpikeII 17
75- same here. Hopefully this one doesn't. But I keep crashing after I post and then it double posts.
CptGap 0
oh ma gaud now u is not popular sad face for yoo?? :(
GigaPudding_fml 24
What do you do with your dogs...?
Jacobt24 19
He plays fetch, but with 2 tennis balls if you know what I mean
iLOLatURpain69 7
Its gonna cost him $300 to get his pitbull an abortion.
TheFunSideOfTheB 2
instead of tennis balls stick
TheFunSideOfTheB 2
instead of tennis balls stick
itsgen 16
I wonder if op likes to use peanut butter with her dogs ......
atldude28 7
He throws his dog a bone
Ryanmatuszak 5
OP- why the **** would you ask that. Do you want to have sex with a dog
DrCocorevenge 0
What he should be asking is if the dog can get them from him
OcampoFTW 4
Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix!
TheMasticater 9
Shoulda had a V8
Mitcha857 0
Shouldve had both! Seriously what did you expect was going to happen with a *********** question?
rofflewaffle 9
It's okay; I had Subway for lunch.
howslife123 0
youre not the same when youre hungry.snickers!.
F2M2L 5
4- this would make for a great commercial for twix. hahaha
SamBaBam98 0
OMFG LOL ROFL @4
Glassmaster 0
***********
Lanceeden 12
-Thump-
TeeHee124 0
Wow, there's a whole new spin to Doggy Style.
TeeHee124 0
Wow, there's a whole new meaning to Doggy Style.
TeeHee124 0
pause like you mean it
jmelsha11 11
Best. Comment. Ever.
Parazad 16
Why would you think that? A little thinking could have solved your question.
ciarafox9 9
be friends with the dogs?
Captain0bv10us 0
uh...
skigirl98 9
Yeah okay.... uh... I'm sure he will -_-
amanda_d95 9
I'm pretty sure he means "just be friends"
ProudTexan117 0
my people might get accused of eating dogs, which is not true, but ******* a dog?? that's just nasty.....
dracopokemon 6
texans eat dogs???
kevalanwilliams 0
I've heard of Chinese eating dog. But not texans.
ProudTexan117 0
no, we do not
Takuya272727 16
Some people eat dogs somewhere, I'm sure. Chinese eat cats? I'm sure a few girls have had sex with their dog, whether looking to screw, curiousity, or something. I've seen a video and read a few stories... A guy, IDK about...
ken8lk 3
rule 34, 'nuff said
daylight123 0
the ****?!
smilessss 4
you are such a freaking closed minded idiot. Chinese don't eat cats
Takuya272727 16
It was a question, as I had heard it somewhere and thinking of dog eating reminded me of that. I'm sure someone has eaten cat before, as same with a dog. As Japanese eat fish sperm, americans don't. I don't even see how it was closed minded though.
softball1432 0
they do eat dogs. maybe you should look it up on YouTube. the video shows the proof and the cruel way that they treat animals..
redbluegreen 41
Don't lie to us. With a mind like that, you never had a chance in the first place.
sexyblondchic74 4
HAHAHAHA! interestin yet totally wierd question...
Symmetry88 0
you're pretty much screwed. next time, DON'T SCREW DOGS!
Vash_41288 10
yes stick to other animals like obscure ones at list you'll stand out among the animal fetish crowd lol
Vash_41288 10
least*
Captain0bv10us 0
12 - They're man's best friend for a reason ;)
getviolated 5
just take out the first two letters and say HAHA to you haters