Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
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Top comments
chelsrageous 0
I highly doubt this is true.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
I'm sorry, OP, but it truly sucks to be you since... how do I put this delicately? You're a towel.
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Comments (114)
Grinner 0
god, that sounded like a ritual. next time use air freshner.
aidenkush 0
ahhhahahaha !! :D
RedPillSucks 33
Lesson learned.... Don't try to go on fmylife.com while you're taking a dump. Or perhaps you were on a **** scat site?
Dudeitscaleb 0
PWNED
mz_dia 7
ewww! sick
lets_be_ian 5
I have not laughed this hard at an FML in a long long time. I keep having the audio/visual of the SNL skit: "Jane you ignorant ****.." OP, you ignorant shit, at what moment do you think he realized his mistake? Do you think he realized before it was all of the way out, or not until he felt it squish down his legs and up his cheeks? I am laughing out loud again... the stupidity of some ppl never ceases to amaze me, and that itself is amazing.
marcusphulme 0
oh joy.
xxlolzxx 0
lmfaooo dats nasty
dance_till_dawn 0
Two things: why the ******* towel? Also, way too much ******* info. I don't want to know that you shit yourself!
Njal 0
LOL