Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chelsrageous 0
I highly doubt this is true.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
I'm sorry, OP, but it truly sucks to be you since... how do I put this delicately? You're a towel.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (114)
Richisme 0
Animals take ***** successfully and your stupid ass can't figure it out?
bennyboy111 7
hahahahahahaha!!!! u fail
averinoelle 0
Hahaha this is really funny :)
starss 0
I hope you threw the towel away.
maz101 0
hahahaha this is ****** hilarious!!
soccergirl4life6 0
how would you not feel the towel when you sat down? Unless you started defecating before you sat down, you should have felt it.....
darkmis1 18
Haha! I would think my ex posted this, but he has a different username, and he just takes his laptop in with him and just sits it on his lap lolz.
stewpididiot 11
Sourgirl, just shine those losers ! You probably DID hit a nerve ( and a small one at that) with all the ones that made asshole type comments. insecure Lil bitches that they are ! hahahahahahah.... what ?
thebillster93 0
ew!!! hahaha
fknowned 0
hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha too frigging funny! what are you retarded?