Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
Today, I trusted a fart in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have. It came out loose like a brown cloud, so I had to shower to wash the shit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I shit my pants. I don’t even remember trusting a fart. As in, it literally just fell out of my ass. I’m only 24. FML
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Top comments
azouwa 26
Anal. When it makes your hole weak while making your whole week.
Lobby_Bee 18
At least the part on your body is easy to clean, jump back I to the shower. Can't say the same for the floor.
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Comments (11)
ARISKomuniszt 24
If only that'd happened BEFORE the shower...
RichardPencil 32
Are you still single? Why am I surprised?
breyes016 11
shit happens
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Regardless of your age, never ever trust a fart. Maybe the shower water mixed with the gas is what made it all liquidy?
azouwa 26
Anal. When it makes your hole weak while making your whole week.
Lobby_Bee 18
At least the part on your body is easy to clean, jump back I to the shower. Can't say the same for the floor.
Davros 12
And back into the shower
Davros 12
I'd blame it on the dog
blightsight 10
You know ehat they say. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
blondie875 4
hey guys, its me, op! I hadn't been feeling well and had just gone to the bathroom so I thought I was safe (since I thought I was empty) that's why i trusted the fart. and to the asshat asking if I'm single and he wouldn't be surprised if I were, no sir I'm not single. been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 years, jerk. anyway, thanks for the comments, they made me laugh!