Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" came on before I logged onto the website and read this. Oh, the irony.
Flip3289 9
That sucks tape his arms down ;)
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Comments (71)
allmidnighteyes 11
Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" came on before I logged onto the website and read this. Oh, the irony.
really_dad? 14
That's not irony. It's coincidence.
teehee520 0
Concealer maybe or some other type of makeup that can help cover it up?
Xdanicat 0
Yeah, for real. Has OP never heard of makeup? a bruise could be hard to conceal, but I'd rather put on loads of makeup than showing up with a black eye.
Neferria 0
I know people toss and turn or talk in their sleep, but never punch. That's pretty odd. How did the job interview go? Did you at least explain what happened?
originalusername_fml 0
I beg to differ. During a sleepover, I accidentally whacked my best friend round the head and smacked the headboard and didn't wake up. XD
artcgirl 0
my friend hit me, and I sing in my sleep :P
bananamanama 0
Once I rolled over and smacked my brother in the face during a family vacation. I didn't know until he told me the next morning, haha.
raiderpride16 2
I kicked a hole in the drywall when I was sleeping, didn't even wake up, and when I did wake up my foot was I have my wall
DameGreyWulf 1
Hahaha, I once kicked the crap out of my mother in my sleep. I also once punched a wall in my sleep... and kicked it... and head butted it... lol @11: I was not aware moving in your sleep was considered a disorder, especially since I don't think I've met anyone who has never once moved in their sleep.
DameGreyWulf 1
Well I tend to speak and move when dreaming too. I've awoken myself several times because I said (or screamed) something.
TheNuge 0
haha I punched a wall in my sleep a few days ago. All it took was that one punch to wake me up though because it hurt my knuckles
DravensMommy 0
The interview actually went really well. I told them what happened, and they just laughed. It was the best response that I could have hoped for.
TheTragicReturn 0
Good for you! I think if you were able to laugh off your black eye at the interview, it would show character and impress the interviewer. :)
oh_mygawd 0
That's great! Did you get the job?
fantasyworld 39
Glad it worked out.
Finnboghi 0
You're manipulating the facts to try and make this seem worse than it is. While it's true that REM sleep should disconnect your brain's impulses from your body's actions, you're not always in REM sleep. When you first fall asleep, and when your body is preparing to wake up, the only part of your brain that's different from being completely awake is that your consciousness is... Somewhat lacking. It's likely that he had been asleep about 7 and a half hours or so, and was leaving the REM phase either during a dream or just beginning one, and the impulse to punch was so fierce it made him do it for real.
Hammy14 0
haha, ive done something similar, i dreamt i was fighting mike tyson and punched myself in the nose, stained my sheets red...
crazyjack 0
like you wouldn't have noticed when somebody punches you that hard in the face... RIIIIIIIIIIIGGGHHHT uhuh
DravensMommy 0
I am an extremely heavy sleeper. I've been known to walk into walls while sleeping, not wake up and wonder why I have a new bruise or scratch. It is completely possible.
Rydizzle 0
O wow hahahaaa
Fail_Pig 0
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