Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" came on before I logged onto the website and read this. Oh, the irony.
Flip3289 9
That sucks tape his arms down ;)
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Comments (71)
Nightfallz 0
this seems fake. i don't think anyone can pretend to fight someone in their sleep. and if he punched you in the face hard enough to blacken your eye I'm sure you would have woke up immediately.
TheNuge 0
A few days ago I was in a light sleep and I decided to punch someone in my dream. my fist hit the wall pretty hard, and it hurt so I woke up immediately. All it takes is one punch to give someone a black eye, and mine definitely could have.
Allord 0
YOU DEISRVED IT FOR BEING A WIMUN
3arl 0
omg someone just mixed up the words of another night punching someone in bed fml
mikeydangerous 0
if it was hard enough to give you that bad of a black eye, how the hell did you not wake up at the time of the punch? sounds very suspicious. punching in your sleep is plausible, but if you didn't wake up, I think you are the one with the sleep disorder.
catherine_j 0
Some larger companies with many people applying for a job may have multiple stages of interviews. This interview could also be for a job where she has a better chance of getting the job and/or one that has better benefits and pay.
saailaway 0
once i had a dream i was beating up my bro. i guess i punched my bed frame and i woke up and my fist was bleeding lmao
cattoe7 0
o snap.. a few years ago I got bit by a cocker spaniel and it left me a black eye & i had a interview the next day and i went & got the job soo good luck to you maybe they'll understand
iluvu21396 0
concealer.
elliekinslurvsya 0
that's one of the reasons we have a little thing called MAKEUP.
phiniusmaster 0
Impossible, when dreaming one is immobilized from the neck down, probably to avoid stuff like this.
Alley_Way 0
Then why do people kick in their sleep? I do that. How do people sleep walk? Because when you're sleep walking, you're dreaming.