Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, my head has been killing me. I've had the worst headache ever. Happy that I could finally sleep, I plopped onto my bed and bashed my head on the wall. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, my wife slept in my bed (she normally sleeps in another room because of my nightmares from PTSD). I fell asleep in 30 minutes and had a nightmare, in which I woke up to me kneeing her tailbone from an in-dream assault I fought back from. I hadn’t had these in a while, and now she’s injured. FML
Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML
Today, I woke up with my face flying at the wall. A muscle spasm had caused me to pop out of bed. I'm now dealing with a concussion and sprained neck, thanks to an almost physically impossible feat. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Somehow I think you would be one of the first to go in a horror movie.
photogirlinlove 16
She must think you're a real knockout.
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Comments (72)
mareike 16
Well at least she told you what happend :)
sammiaaron 16
was it supposed to be some big secret or something?
LeashaJoy5595 28
Well it is really embarrassing...
supr_sexy 9
she atleast put you back on bed. i'd have left you there,instagrammed and tweeted the funny story.
countryguy91290 16
Ouch sorry to hear that OP. At least she was nice enough to put you back in bed
cprad11 12
Well, she is his wife.
PANDORUM89 21
idk I mean she lifted a man (dead weight) and put him back in bed. I couldn't lift my bf dead weight and he is not in any way fat and I'm not a weakling. so more like kudos to her arms for being able to lift him.
teentee401 37
Usually though after a blow to the head like that, it's dangerous to let the person go back to sleep, just in case there is some brain damage or a concussion.
Welshite 40
Somehow I think you would be one of the first to go in a horror movie.
photogirlinlove 16
She must think you're a real knockout.
cacheson 42
Could have been worse... She could have just left you there. Or it could have been raining.
G6Fari 18
Raining in the bedroom? Haha
RoseCrystal 17
Are you referencing the It's Raining, It's Pouring nursery rhyme?
cacheson 42
The movie young Frankenstein. "Could be worse... Could be raining" cue rain
deathstroke990 22
that,,, doesn't apply here,,
itw 6
I thought it was funny! Man this comment section is kinda harsh!
cacheson 42
That comment applies anywhere you can say "could be worse".... That's the whole point! :)
UncleCaitlyn 21
At least she didn't leave you laying there
Ashamed_Sister 60
She's a caring wife.
Moskaaa7 26
Maybe she was too sleepy herself to realise what had happened. I might have just fell asleep too.
Its_Sinon 15
I agree #7
NickD6 14
Dang you must have given that wall some good head
cprad11 12
*sigh*
Miss_Chevious 37
Am I the only one who pictured his wife calmly watching this while scenario as she read a book by lamplight, then slowly roll her eyes and continue doing what she did?
syki 22
Probably, because the FML says that she was sleeping before this all happened and went back to sleep after. :P
isnobodyhere 32
Good thing you woke up!