Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
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Top comments
bobsanction 18
You remember everything you do in your sleep? Cus, that's not normal.
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Why is it worse because he doesn't remember? I would think it would be MORE of an FML if he DID remember doing it. Especially if he followed it up with, "And I did it on purpose."
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Comments (7)
bobsanction 18
You remember everything you do in your sleep? Cus, that's not normal.
RichardPencil 32
It's good he has no memory of it. Otherwise, he'd go to jail.
keye2hisheart 1
🤣😂🤣😂
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Why is it worse because he doesn't remember? I would think it would be MORE of an FML if he DID remember doing it. Especially if he followed it up with, "And I did it on purpose."
keye2hisheart 1
so that's what he says....... 😂🤣😂🤣
Paul Rushing 21
It would make it less painful if he remembered doing it? Weird logic there
Tanisha Skye Regeling 15
ok here, to explain why it sucks, is he was claiming he didn't do it because he didn't remember it. But once he'd fully woken up he apologized because he'd remembered waking up half asleep after elbowing me.