Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Talk to me baby
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML
Man City
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML
Top comments
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
That is... ******* awesome.
tpuff 7
Boss status
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Comments (159)
knight0748 5
So he was BEATING the game?
dessyrae 0
They can do that...? O_o
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Oh big deal. My boyfriend is the type who would do that, and I'm the type who would try it with my nipples. Haha.
jmacfan1 16
Nipples actually work. Yes I have tried.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
Haha. Now you made me want to try it myself... too bad I'm too broke for an iPhone u.u
BubbleGrunge 18
Did you then take place of the iPhone and reward him for his mad penis skills?
bizarre_ftw 22
Is he as creative when he uses it to play with you?
bizarre_ftw 22
Joy stick. Just mentioning.
iamsickbro32 2
Whatever!!! That's way sick! He deserves something awesome!
ceegee415 5
And he's not your ex?
Zer1c 4
Did he...did he win?
perdix 31
Did he have an online opponent, or was he playing with himself?