Rosie
Wesel, Germany 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
StiffPvtParts
🌶️ Spicy
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
fizzie101
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Talk to me baby
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML
chewybarseventy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Taylor
Dubuque, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
doesnttastegood
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
kylie
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML
urgg
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
coldwetnose
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
ps3isbetterthanme
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML
EpicBunBun
🌶️ Spicy
Man City
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML
Top comments
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
That is... ******* awesome.
tpuff 7
Boss status
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
jreaso01 4
I would have thought there would be more small dick jokes...must be a lot of little guys on this site...
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Can you type out an entire FML with your penis?" "Uh, not right now?" "Too bad. A girl's gotta have her standards."
jmac2787 0
Are you sure it didn't tell him to use his penis
Taurus_ChicKa 37
So? I'm sure you've already touched his penis, and of course you've touched your phone. Not that big of a deal. Just wipe it off if it bothers you. What game was it? :D
1LuvsU 1
I would actually laugh at that. my boyfriend and I are comfortable and we do weird things to mess with each other and if he was to do that I would just crack up! :) and it can be cleaned if needed!
SPSugarShorts 4
You should have put FML because you have a boyfriend that has a penis the size of a stylus...
sniipe1617 4
Who hasn't done that
Ajwc101 24
I have to try this. Your boyfriend has ?kî??š.
davide223 0
Dayum is he black???
isaiaah 6
At least you didn't wake up naked and him taking pictures of you.