Anonymous
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
snow
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
pop, pop
San Francisco, United States
Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML
argh
Houston, United States
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Mervin22
Australia
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
Fingkids
United States
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
historyrepeats
Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML
nosey
Mountain Ash, United Kingdom
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Jason the flasher
Party hard
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
MandyPanda
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Strange stranger
Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML
Top comments
sumocj 14
Party rule #1 never fall asleep first
raven_of_azarath 35
Plus side: it's a pool party, so the chlorine in the water should make it all come off pretty easy.
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Comments (10)
Glowworm56 27
While dicks are common and classic, the swastikas were uncalled for.
sumocj 14
Party rule #1 never fall asleep first
acmariner99 25
Is this going to turn into one of those "I wasn't THAT drunk" type stories?
raven_of_azarath 35
Plus side: it's a pool party, so the chlorine in the water should make it all come off pretty easy.
RichardPencil 32
I guess the political statement is white supremacists are dicks? Are you partying with Antifa?
Chazzster 32
Fell asleep? Or passed out? There is a difference....
Lobby_Bee 18
Let me get this straight, on the way to the pool party means you technically aren't there yet? So random strangers put graffiti on your body? That sounds strange.
Sinshine 28
If that's what happens on the way there, I would say you're lucky you didn't make it there
Isa_fml 20
Funny, usually that happens AFTER you get to the party. Usually when you've already been there for a while.
tonyfan00 38
Was Jigglypuff in the car?