Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
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Top comments
snufflebubble 13
Nobody helped you out before you fell back asleep?
lilhellian 27
Why would have a hamock over hard ground? And YDI for getting shit-faced drunk.. Learn your limits..
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Comments (83)
snufflebubble 13
Nobody helped you out before you fell back asleep?
insomnimaniak 19
Yeah did no one make sure you were okay?
9lashes 15
Before he went to sleep?? What about before he kept flipping face first on concrete >.
Thejayzeee 3
They might've changes her nappy...
gimmicksz 9
Did you hit your face on the concrete too, #49?
MadamBri 4
They not real friends
etishuman22 32
My brother fell asleep at his own party once. Wrapped up in a blanket, sleeping on the concrete porch. At least someone convinced him to sleep on the ground instead of the hammock we have...
Cbizzlez 10
Ya hammock+alcohol= A bad time, those things are hard enough to maneuver when I'm sober
NurseJonathan 9
And I can't handle it. Sometimes I think an ancestor of mine gone and made my family bloodline cursed to be assaulted by hammocks.
BradTheBrony 19
Why would someone curse their own bloodline?
Welshite 40
None of your friends even offered to sing you a lullaby? What jerks!
Shenanigans9 8
Hush little baby don't you cry...
NurseJonathan 9
We want you to give this drink a try.
Pleonasm 36
Don't be a pussy now here's one more We're not gonna stop 'til you hit the floor.
NurseJonathan 9
And when the cop sirens ring by. We're gonna leave your sorry ass with a "goodbye".
Busybeth98 16
And this is why I love FML.
lilhellian 27
Why would have a hamock over hard ground? And YDI for getting shit-faced drunk.. Learn your limits..
Reaper1984 13
"Nappy Time", the new addition to famous last words for drunk people
Pleonasm 36
At least you didn't wake up with a nappy on O.o
maximus_prime 24
Maybe OP woke up with the nappy wrapped around their face to stem the blood flow.
lincolnkite 6
Waking up in blood is never fun....
mattorama 15
What's worse, waking up with your own blood on you, or somebody else's??
9lashes 15
Yours it means you got hurt d:
Snowkeys 11
Depends where the blood came from..
notforbirds 9
Someone else's cuz hepatitis D:
luckyd880 12
Unless your dexter >:]
lincolnkite 6
I would say someone else's. I have woke up with lots of bloody noses and cuts before. That's what happens when the ceiling is 1 foot higher than your bed.
Snowkeys 11
How could you sleep within 12 inches of space? Are you slender man ?
lincolnkite 6
Oh no, you found me now I will take you away. It is hard to sleep that way, but it is the only place my bed is. I have to slip in sideways and not turn in my sleep but it works.
kimg0885 23
You deserve it for being so drunk you can't function ; but on the other hand FYL for having such inconsiderate friends, you could have had a concussion. Lay off the booze for a while op.
brackaman 18
I got up to the part that said "I got so drunk..." and immediately hit Ydi.
TheChelseaSays 34
I totally feel your pain. My "friends" leave me every times I've accidentally gotten too drunk.
lilhellian 27
How do you "accidently" get too drunk?
NurseJonathan 9
I believe it is the "one more drink" mindset most intoxicated people throw themselves into.
lilhellian 27
Still not accidental as they made the choice...
NurseJonathan 9
Indeed, Mister Lilhelian, your point is absolutely valid. What I'm saying is that most just say "three drinks" and from then on it becomes a "trap" that they call out for "just one more".
stevothedevo 25
They could also just be a Cadbury..
dontpanic_fml 32
It's easy to accidentally get drunk if you don't understand the strength of what you're drinking. The first time I got drunk was the first time I had hard liquor; I had no idea that it hits you like a wall after a few but doesn't take effect immediately. I thought I was fine since I didn't feel anything at first, till it was waaaaay too late
BinaryGuy 22
I think that you should have to pass a breathalyzer test before using a hammock... Seems to be as dangerous as driving.
NurseJonathan 9
A breathalyzer test? Then you can get arrested for HWI!
samasara 20
Heads up OP