Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
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Top comments
sparkledoge 29
That's when you ask him how fast he thinks he can mop a floor.
coolmike699 26
Is your boyfriend 5?
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Comments (39)
haveyou000 22
it's not milk, but I wouldn't blame you if you cried.
coolmike699 26
Is your boyfriend 5?
PePziNL 20
I certainly hope not.
ABlindMan 17
Hey, at least OP knows he'll never be boring. It's a shame that you think everyone has to be serious nonstop. There's always room to joke around in a relationship, as long as it's not a constant thing. If OP's boyfriend is never serious, that's an issue, but screwing around shows that if they're still together as an older couple, he'll still be able to goof around and bring a smile to OP.
sgdigaetano 3
#2. Certainly sounds like a 5 year old to me also.
cootiequeen4444 11
hand your bf the mop. it's his mess. he can clean it up... also... this kinda hints that he has likely peed on the floor at least once before. how else would he know how far he can stand back and still aim into the toilet. your bf needs a hobby, man...
sparkledoge 29
That's when you ask him how fast he thinks he can mop a floor.
lovebooks07 15
He is marking his territory! You will now have to pee in other rooms of the house, or it will be his from now on
vinnie_boombotz 15
(Cleveland's voice) That's nasty
captain_hero89 22
So how far was it?!
allykaymorris 24
It's sterile... Right?
Migole 36
No
tessas 7
It is NOT sterile. As it leaves your body, it has no bacteria in it that isn't already in your body, but it is FAR from sterile.
AverageAvarice 23
I blame House for this perpetuated misinformation.
lusanna 19
If I were you, he would be sleeping in the bathroom
matthewcald 14
You should do the same to him!