Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
daidax_238 26
I guess you could say urine a bad situation! ...I regret nothing
OnAMission 5
I'd be pissed if I were in the room when it happened...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (33)
wisconsinfml 3
so you choose to live with this person? if i came up to and asked to live with you but i said i drink a lot and i will pee everywhere would you say Sure, move right in? LEAVE OR THROW HIM OUT, get control of your life
devans00 14
Sounds like passive aggressive hateful behavior to me. I hope you get the love and respect you deserve someday.
zaidthunder1 27
You should never lose basic sense if you drink, that was a bit too much.
anitashah 6
Make him do your laundry and clean floor.
jamieblue6 16
Next time he drinks, kick his ass outta the house!
jenjen53 7
OP, if it is relatively common for him to get that drunk, I might suggest checking into Alanon.
ryoung1776 8
Best comment. ALANON for the win!
verg_fml 2
Your husband sounds pretty immature if he promised he wouldn't get smashed and then did anyway, especially if he gets drunk/hungover enough that he's pissing in drawers. :|
weirdangelz2 15
My fiancé sleep walks sometimes and I found him peeing on the table one time. I feel for you.... It sucks cleaning up someone else's pee.
2changeher 13
Would've kicked him out then and there
Witchylady 18
Your husband is a pig and clearly becomes a loser when he is drunk. Time for him to stay sober