Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML
Today, I was naked and the wife tried to flick my bum with a wet towel. Unfortunately I bent over at the wrong moment and the towel cracked right against the underside of my dangling penis. The whole underside is bruised, it hurts to pee, and God help me tomorrow if I get morning wood. FML
Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my cat pissed in my laundry from last night. This includes underwear, so I had to go commando. I grabbed an old T-shirt and pants at the bottom of a drawer and left for school. Turns out the pants had a hole in the crotch and my period was due. FML
Today, I woke up at my brother-in-law's house in the middle of the night to discover I had a watery shit in my underwear. I thought I was safe because had on a Depends, I wasn’t and had to change my sweatpants too. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Karau_fml 12
Well I guess now you are going to have a ******
pohoon 12
wet dream gone wrong
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
Abidawe 15
Go piss on a pregnancy test dude, if it's positive you might have testicular cancer and you should see a doctor right away. The bleeding could be a symptom (or completely unrelated).
bad_boyfriend 10
I love that people are telling him to get it checked out. I hate going to the doctor..hate it. but if I woke up with blood in my underwear i would be at the docs office immediately. Possible dick bleeding isn't something you ignore.
Jazzcatjc 3
Hemorrhoids.
WOTAN1488 24
SEE A DOCTOR!
boosiepie 7
That's scary
pajamajeans 18
That Taco Bell will getcha...
isnobodyhere 32
Aw you e reach manhood!
joshklander 11
time to buy maxypads! lol Seriously though, you should get that checked out. It could be an ass infection.
samurai1833 16
Get off the internet Caitlyn
sofiaem 8
You could start peeing blood from chronic masturbation. Maybe that's the problem