Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML
Today, I was naked and the wife tried to flick my bum with a wet towel. Unfortunately I bent over at the wrong moment and the towel cracked right against the underside of my dangling penis. The whole underside is bruised, it hurts to pee, and God help me tomorrow if I get morning wood. FML
Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my cat pissed in my laundry from last night. This includes underwear, so I had to go commando. I grabbed an old T-shirt and pants at the bottom of a drawer and left for school. Turns out the pants had a hole in the crotch and my period was due. FML
Today, I woke up at my brother-in-law's house in the middle of the night to discover I had a watery shit in my underwear. I thought I was safe because had on a Depends, I wasn’t and had to change my sweatpants too. FML
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Top comments
Karau_fml 12
Well I guess now you are going to have a ******
pohoon 12
wet dream gone wrong
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Comments (107)
bagelbaron 12
ouch go to get a doctor
gracehi 33
Aw, don't be a pussy about it.
warped_executive 16
Aw, don't be a douche.
Morning_fml 22
Idk about you but if I woke up to a large spot of blood where my dick is I'd be pretty ******* terrified.
gracehi 33
It was obviously a pun, guys. -.-
heartofhannah 28
A bad one.
gracehi 33
^I'll grant you that.
wyatt2189 7
You're manstruating!
vikky538 29
Now you know how period feels like! Or you might actually be having a period right now!!
saffy66 34
Unless he's also experiencing bloating, intense cramping, nausea and moodiness ranging from mildly irritable to suicidal depression, then no, he doesn't actually know what it feels like :)
KatsaGrace 3
OP could definitely be experiencing what could be expected of a normal period. Remember we don't know why or where he was bleeding. He could be experiencing symptoms similar to yours. OR he might have no symptoms, in which case it would be much like my periods so he would know what it's like for me.
saffy66 34
How old are you? Because unlikely as it is, I guess this scenario is possible if you're a hermaphrodite, though if you're out of your teens it's less likely to be manifesting now. Definitely don't delay getting it checked out though.
heartofhannah 28
This comment hurt my head.
fmylifegshit 10
If you are using the word penis you are probably young dont worry too much about it, but since you seem to be a guy I would get it checked out ASAP don't panic.
tj4234 36
#32. Why would his use of the word penis make him young? It's what the thing is actually called.
Fairyjoshy 13
Since you didn't specify *where* the blood spot was, I'm guessing that it's not in the area of your penis. You know, I'm just gonna suggest a possibility: hemorrhoids. Still, go see a doctor.
tj4234 36
That can be a sign of cancer. You should get that checked out.
RememberSchlitz 9
It's OK to beat it, but you're not supposed to beat it WITH anything.
Gunny20 25
So, your first response to this was to post an FML instead of seeing a doctor? I like your style.