Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
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Top comments
doomking10 0
Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?
HiddenAce91 6
wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.
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Comments (152)
lostfaithinpppl 19
Wow! YDI on so many levels! OP, you are a disgrace and I hope you know it.
lilnurse_44 0
I wish people could see what I see in the EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT...
concealedhavoc 0
**** your life? right. you should be thankful you still have one. Quit driving drunk and maybe I'll care that poor you sat in your own pee.
failuristic 3
"...after a long night of drinking," Automatic YDI. When those beer commercials say "party responsibly" they DON'T me get drunk off your ass so badly that you literally piss yourself. ******* iiddiiooottt D:
thighsofglory 0
Must not be Northern Virginia. Muslims don't drink and their women aren't allowed to drive.
fatedhan57 0
Well, last time I checked I'm Muslim and I'm very capable of driving. Thanks.
__no_one__ 0
While muslim women are allowed to drive (at least the Muslim girl I was going to school with, who was rather faithful, did get her license), they in fact do not drink.
hughman 0
That's like saying Christians or Jews don't drink. Do you actually know any Muslims, or did you just hear this once from somebody?
fbp6277 0
You deserve it for driving when youre drunk you dumbass.
AmeOwl 0
The fact that you were that trashed and got behind the wheel of a car sickens me. People die everyday because of assholes like you.
jillz 0
YDI for saying 'guess who'.
Emperor_Jim 0
YDI. Quit drinking, you ******* alcoholic.
Whatsername6353 0
I have nothing more to say other then, YDI.