Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
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Top comments
doomking10 0
Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?
HiddenAce91 6
wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.
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Comments (152)
Nakedsquirrel 5
Too bad you didn't wind up splattered against a tree trunk and the hood of your car. I had a Darwin Award made up and everything.
emmaemmaemma_fml 0
rewrite: ...and hastily sat down in my car seat. Guess where else they peed on?
fobchick 0
You are a stupid careless **** rag, how can you even think driving drunk is okay!?! You can kill a family, I honestly think something needs to happen to you first before you hurt anyone. Dumb ass bitch.
rosy_fml 0
Please die of alcohol poisoning. Better that than driving drunk and killing someone, or even a family. I have so much hate for you and I don't even know you.
HellHathNoFury85 0
Hey, you're just like the ignorant trash who was so drunk that she hit my brother while drunk driving, dragged him for 300 feet and pissed her pants when she passed out with his body under her car! Classy. Always check your death machine for bodies after your careless forays into the srteets that innocent people use, mmkay? Families of victims like my brother will be thrilled when you grow up a bit.
vlk4_fml 0
OP forgot to mention how after realizing she pissed her seat she saw the dead body halfway through her windsheild. You are VERY lucky you didn't hit anyone or anything (or at least didn't hit anything that you knew of at the time of posting this). Get help. You are obviously a binge drinking alcoholic if you get so wasted you piss youself twice and drive and don't remember any of it, not to mention doing that the night before you have work in the morning.
anjyu22 0
You can come out and say this is fake any time now, OP. :(
LOL_7052 0
And u drove drunk why...?
prettystoopid 0
you gives a **** about where you peed, you should be more worried you could've killed someone driving drunk moron
little_otter 0
You sound classy.