Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
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Top comments
MitiMiki 16
Perhaps consider that you may have a problem. Getting so drunk you piss yourself is not a normal, healthy behavior. Not saying you are, but I'll leave this here for you, just in case. https://www.aa.org
lifeis4me 20
Stop drinking more than you can handle. This is an FML for whoever had to clean up after you.
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Comments (15)
real life problems 26
That's why Dorothy just clickes her heels 3 times to get home.
BeefyQueefy 14
She was more interested in following the yellow piss road
Glowworm56 27
I KNEW that road wasn't naturally yellow!
MitiMiki 16
Perhaps consider that you may have a problem. Getting so drunk you piss yourself is not a normal, healthy behavior. Not saying you are, but I'll leave this here for you, just in case. https://www.aa.org
real life problems 26
AA is for quitters
caggybandicoot 34
Yeah, that’s kind of the whole point.
real life problems 26
Didnt sound like OP is interested in quitting
BurnInDemonFire 39
Did Michael Winslow provide you with the sound effects as you made your way to bed?
real life problems 26
I was thinking more like Hanz Zimmers wonder woman
Charlie Given 28
That's why it's called being pissed drunk 🤣🤣😂😏
lifeis4me 20
Stop drinking more than you can handle. This is an FML for whoever had to clean up after you.
TomeDr 25
Any FML that starts “I was so drunk...” is an automatic YDI. Just sayin.
Davros 12
Why didn't you just piss in the elevator like everyone else on youtube?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
"Today, I was so drunk..." instant YDI
Adam Sherwin 3
I mean you deserved it. but hell that sounded like a hell of a party too.