Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Three piss suite
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Dribble drizzle
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Hangover time
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Too far gone
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Close call
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Top comments
doomking10 0
Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?
HiddenAce91 6
wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.
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Comments (152)
wienerwagon 0
You guys are ******* puritans. Yeah, OP ****** up, but she wasn't deliberately going out to harm people. I doubt she deliberately got behind the wheel at all, she was just wasted. Saying she deserves death for her actions is ridiculous.
nonynony 0
I hope, hope, hope you are a troll just trying to get a response (which I'm giving you). It DOES NOT MATTER that she didn't drive drunk "deliberately." Do you think, after my best friend was killed in a drunk driving accident, that it made it ok knowing she wasn't "deliberately" plowed down? Did the fact that the driver didn't "mean to" somehow erase her crushed skull and massive internal bleeding? Driving drunk deserves harsh punishment. No, I don't think the OP deserves to DIE, but if she was driving when she was THAT wasted, then I do think she deserves, at the very least, to have her license taken away for the rest of her ******* life.
KayleeFrye 39
Like I commented earlier, there is nothing wrong with going out and getting drunk occasionally. However, the OP was reckless and irresponsible to drink that much when she surely knew she would have to drive home. I'm not saying that she deserves to die, but she deserves some sort of punishment. What if she does it again and hits a car with innocent people in it? What if she kills a child? And you have the nerve to say it's not like it was deliberate? We're not being Puritan, we're being decent human beings. Need a lesson?
myfriend_youfail 3
SERIOUSLY????? As soon as you get behind the wheel of a car, you are responsible for how you drive in that car, unless there is an unexpected mechanical failure. If you're drunk, THAT IS YOUR DECISION TO DRIVE IMPAIRED and you should be held accountable for your actions. If a person chooses to drive while intoxicated, they can and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Impaired driving is dangerous and can end up with the driver or innocent bystanders hurt or even dead. If the OP decides to get her fool drunk ass into a car and drive it and she wraps herself around a tree, that's her own damn fault for being an idiotic bitch who decided to drive while intoxicated. Maybe she doesn't DESERVE it, but if it happens, there's no one to blame but herself. And I wouldn't feel sorry for her one single bit. I don't give a damn if you "intended" to run someone over or not while driving drunk. It's not the intent that matters, it's the fact that you're operating a very large, very fast, and very heavy vehicle when you should have just given your keys to someone sober.
wienerwagon 0
Man, what was I thinking? How dare I suggest that people are overreacting by telling the OP to "wrap their body around a tree" (oh sup #67!)? This site would be so much better without its readers. I don't agree with the OP's actions at all, but when every single comment is from some judgmental asshole I feel a whole lot more inclined to defend her.
reneekun 0
agreed.
myfriend_youfail 3
If you're playing with matches and you get burned, you pretty much deserve the pain of the burn. If you're screwing around with sharp objects and you cut yourself, you deserve the pain of the cut. If you choose to drive while intoxicated and you get into an accident, you deserve what happens to you, whether it be a DUI arrest or wrecking your car. When you do something stupid and you end up hurting yourself, I'm not going to feel sorry for you at all. I'm going to say "well, that's what you get for acting like an idiot". There are these things called CONSEQUENCES that come along with our actions. If your action is stupid, you then deserve the consequence that follows.
Sheepiebeepie 26
No they are from people who have suffered the consequences of others drunk driving. Her actions could’ve destroyed others lives. She is worthless, and you have your head way to far up your ass.
Jordan_McDeere 0
Maybe she went and sat in her car when she was drunk. Maybe she was looking for a CD or something. Maybe someone else drove her home but she got out of the wrong door or something. You lot are biblical in your judgement.
myfriend_youfail 3
There's one major flaw in your statement. If someone else drove her home, how could she have gotten out of the wrong door? Doing so would involve crawling over the person already in the driver's seat. And yes, she could have just been sitting there. But that doesn't explain how her car got home (assuming she drank at a place other than her own house, which is a reasonable assumption). If someone else drove her her car home, they would have sat in her piss and she would have needed to get a ride from someone else. If someone else drove her AND her car home, they would have sat in her piss. If someone else drove her home and she "got out of the wrong door", they would have sat in her piss and she would have had to crawl over the driver to get out the wrong door. The most likely scenario is that she drove herself home while intoxicated. And in that case, she's an idiot who deserves whatever bad things happen to her as a result of her drunk driving.
quarty165 0
What does the Bible have to do with anything?
Erbtosis 10
If you say you don't have a problem your in your first step of AA good luck!!
chiapet 0
Hitler?
quarty165 0
ha, it's funny. I read your comment after the person's comment below declaring to take people out of the gene pool...
NoteMyGrin 0
You piss yourself repeatedly when drunk? I'd never want to party with you. YDI for getting that smashed and then DRIVING. I can't believe you'd do that to all the other people on the road.
atty11 0
you ******* idiot. stay off the ******* road after you drink.
overkill_78 4
Only a ******* asshole drinks and drives. YDI, and stop that shit before you hit someone head on and kill them.
Blahjustblah 0
You Deserved It for driving home drunk like a ******* moron ... you could have killed yourself or worse someone else... be glad that you only woke up noticing you peed yourself not handcuffed in prison like you very well should be ...
memechose 0
you should probably consider alcoholics anonymous if you're pulling shit like that...
quarty165 0
Every time I read "after a long night of drinking" or anything like it, I don't need to finish to know YDI. If you can't handle it, don't do it. Moreover, OP, you were driving drunk. You expect us to feel sorry for you because...?