Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
doomking10 0
Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?
HiddenAce91 6
wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (152)
Lisa89 3
That's disgraceful that you drove home drunk. **** other people's lives for when you kill them while you're drunk driving.
padlarf 14
Redneck white trash *****, I sincerely hope you fold yourself around a tree next time you decide to drink yourselve senseless and still decide to drive your car.
XxJaydaxX 3
What does being a redneck have absolutely anything to do with her driving home drunk? I mean how does that make her a redneck or white trash or a *****? How do you know she's even white? I'm not standing up for her what so ever because she was incredibly stupid for driving. But this does not mean you should call her a "redneck white trash *****". Being a redneck does not make you stupid or anything. It means you are from the south and country, which does not make you stupid.
YOULIVETODIE 0
Does anyone notice that some of this has to be fake. She must have urinated a whole lake on her chair for it did not dry up.
shananigans 0
Well I'm not much of a drinker, but I'm thinking that unless she's a complete lightweight, with the amount she must have drunk to get herself to the point of driving home drunk, urinating herself twice, and not remembering either event, she could easily have generated enough pee for it not to be totally dry in the morning. It could've just been noticeably damp, not necessarily like, a puddle. Still gross.
waterynuggets 0
She didn't say it was still wet. Maybe the stench of piss was strong.
Sappheyes 0
I've sprayed my seats with fabric refresher before, and it seemed to take over 24 hours for them to dry completely, since I left my car turned off and closed. I'm not about to leave it running, or leave the windows down overnight. So, I'd imagine that soaking a seat with pee, and leaving the car closed up, would cause it to stay damp for a long time.
bittersweets 2
Did you ever have to try your laundry without a dryer? Clothes don't dry within a few hours especially when they're crumpled or you lie on them...
atty11 0
maybe she had leather seats. i don't think leather would soak up that much liquid overnight.
CosmicPossum 2
If it's humid, it can take a long time to dry. Also, anything that involves the phrase "while drunk" is almost certainly a YDI, this one more than any other. Drunk driving? So drunk you can't remember or keep from pissing yoruself? Get help.
Ren_Baby 0
Maybe she came home late. It never said how long it was. Also certain materials don't dry as quickly as others. If she came home at 4 am and got in her car at 6 am it could've still been damp.
Batman4890 0
was it u who pissed in the drivers seat?
zimandme123 0
abcd3fghijklmnøpqrstuvwxyz nøw I knøw mi abcs n3xt tim3 wøn't u sing with m3!
Peroxide 3
When you kill yourself drink driving I will happily urinate on your corpse for you because I know thats what you would have wanted.
Sugarlips_xo 0
You hang in there Sunshine
luluca_fml 0
I hope you get a DUI ****
crzyry 6
DWI...
concealedhavoc 0
driving under the influence = DUI
harmony88 0
DWI = Driving While Intoxicated
shananigans 0
I give up. Who peed in the driver's seat? And I've never understood why people would get piss-drunk the night before they have to work. Among other reasons, work is usually bad enough as it is, why would you want to be hungover as well??
DynamicDave 11
Ummm...was it your great-uncle's former college roommate?
bittersweets 2
YDI! No wait, you don't deserve to be drenched in piss, you deserve to die because some drunk driver crashes into your car while you're driving sober.