Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
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Top comments
doomking10 0
Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?
HiddenAce91 6
wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.
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Comments (152)
Raytestrak 3
You sound like someone I'd be VERY proud to show to my parents.
orais 1
You were drunk out of your mind driving a motor vehicle putting the lives of others at risk in the process... You belong in jail.
accomplice 0
YDI for getting drunk befor work day
lamej 7
Not **** your life more like **** you for driving drunk. I agree with #111 you belong in jail for putting people at risk through your own stupidity. I bet your parents are very proud of you.
lulu318 0
you definitely deserve to be in jail, i have been pretty drunk but never have I pissed myself so obviously you were shitfaced and probably could barely function a car people like you are disgusting
blastvortex 4
Haha. In other words, you're saying that the fact that you can't hold your liquor takes on more meanings than one. BTW, if you don't do something about this, I hope somebody else does, since the less selfish, senseless, negligent, thieving punks we have on the road, the better.
doz346 0
dumb bitch, my best friend was paralized from the waist down by a drunk driver. to bad you didnt hit a tree.
PhillyFox 0
You shouldn't have even been driving. If you can't control yourself when you're drinking enough to not get behind the wheel, you shouldn't drink that much. You could've killed yourself or someone else.
hassenpfeffermmm 0
Learn from your mistakes. Then move on. = )
HannahHarlequin 0
people generally don't make good decisions while drunk, I doubt she weighed the pros and cons of drunk driving before doing so.