Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Three piss suite
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Dribble drizzle
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Hangover time
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
Too far gone
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Close call
Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Top comments
doomking10 0
Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?
HiddenAce91 6
wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.
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Comments (152)
badtaste 0
well, let's face it, your day could be worse right now. You're lucky that you didn't kill yourself or someone else while you drove your ass home. However, everyone else is still screwed cause you're still around to take them out next time you decide to drink your face off and drive home. congratulations.
jollyjam1 2
Well, that is what you get when you abuse drugs. And yes genius, alcohol is a drug.
__no_one__ 0
If you were that drunk, don't you think there was still enough alcohol left in your blood the following morning that you shouldn't have driven to work in the first place? Duh, sorry, YDI. If you're old enough to drive, you should by now know how much you can drink and when to stop. Going a little overboard from time to time, fine, I'll give you that, but not when you're going to drive home [who the heck were you with that they even let you enter the car? I know that my friends would never let someone get into their car and drive if they were that shitfaced] and when you've got work the next morning.
oldwiseguy 0
Wow, you're so sexy! Who wouldn't want to date you? Go to an AA meeting, you've obviously hit bottom!
KayleeFrye 39
There's nothing wrong with getting a bit drunk once in a while, but when you drink so much that you end up wetting yourself, THAT is a problem. You know what else is a problem? DRIVING DRUNK! You're lucky you didn't hit anyone. How would you feel if you slammed into a car and killed the innocent people inside? Go out for drinks all you want, but take a cab or something. I can't stand selfish, stupid, ignorant people like you.
taurustbull 0
Consider maybe you did kill somebody last night in your drunken state. Maybe a hit and run, maybe ran their car off the road without actually colliding. Luckily, if you did your conscience won't be troubled by their death as you were to drunk to even control your bodily functions. OBTW, consider that none of it was your pee. Maybe you hooked up with somebody into golden showers.
myfriend_youfail 3
YDI for being drunk enough to piss on yourself, your bed, and your car. It's called "drinking in moderation". Ever heard of it? YDI for driving home intoxicated. YOU. COULD. HAVE. KILLED. SOMEONE. YDI for drinking when you know you have to work the next day. How ******* professional of you, yeah? I'm sure your boss and coworkers REALLY appreciate the stink of alcohol on your breath and oozing out of your every pore...along with the smell of urine that has, by now, worked its way throughout your entire car. I hope you get fired. YDI for driving to work the next day. If you were truly THAT shitfaced, chances are there's either alcohol still coursing through your blood or you have one HELL of a hangover. Both of which make driving a BAD IDEA. You stupid, idiotic, self-serving cow. I sincerely hope that the next time you decide to be a drunken ass and drive while intoxicated, you get caught and have your license revoked. You're clearly a danger to yourself and society. And if getting your license revoked doesn't cure your alcohol problems, please just drive on some empty back road at 100 mph and wrap yourself around a tree. One less drunken moron on the road.
nightswimming 0
Amen.
Dingan 0
Word.
nonnymouse 0
You were so drunk that you pissed yourself, but you DROVE??? You're an asshole.
GeorgeBoosh 0
Hey, you're a man, why are you wearing a dress? Must STILL be drunk!!!!
TheKingDon 2
You deserved to be pissed on in prison, you drunk-driving ****.