Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AmeOwl 0
Movie's like twilight have truly corrupted girls' ability to separate fiction from reality. In reality world, even a guy in love is probably not going to sit there staring at his girlfriend while she sleeps. And that's good, because it's kind of creepy.
Kingdutch 3
That's one unexpected answer
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (71)
myhairynutsack 0
ahahahahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahaahahahahahhAHAHAHAHAhHAHAHAhAHAHHAiloveit!
Ezekeyle 0
AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T HAVE A BONER!!!
teiso_fml 0
You kind of walked into that one on your own. "Are you staring at me because you're in love with me?" What sort of question is that? You're really setting yourself up to be humiliated. Even if he was staring at you because he was in love with you, it's a very odd and self-absorbed question to ask. He might have even lied about the farting because he was so annoyed by the question.
billybobjoebob 0
maybe he's in love with your farting
tchaikovsky93 0
Hahahahahaaahahahahhaha nastyyyyyy
sqdcandy99 2
Idk y, but that really annoyed me. Ur probably the annoying, abnoxious person that everyboy hates. What the **** is ur problem
zfchatroulette 24
*I don't know why *You're *obnoxious *everybody *your problem I find your entire message twice as obnoxious as the original FML post. So, what the **** is your problem? And I bet everybody hates you because you can't spell worth shit.
KingreX32 21
Poor him.
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
That's what happens when you hold em in all day