Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
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Top comments
AmeOwl 0
Movie's like twilight have truly corrupted girls' ability to separate fiction from reality. In reality world, even a guy in love is probably not going to sit there staring at his girlfriend while she sleeps. And that's good, because it's kind of creepy.
Kingdutch 3
That's one unexpected answer
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Comments (71)
supernoob 0
Today, I couldn't sleep because my girlfriend keep farting. But, when she is awake, she asks stupid questions. example: "Are you looking at me because you're so much in love with me?" With her awake OR asleep, i still lose. FML.
lostfaithinpppl 19
ROFL!!!!
bored690 0
Oh god. Who asks that?
nzl_fml 0
wow conceited question much? YDI
MissGreenT 0
I cant even imagine the look on your boyfriend's face when you said those obnoxious words...honestly woman! Get something to eliminate the night gas and keep your lips sealed
fancypantsninja 0
And then you reply with " Well maybe you should have slept on the couch since i smell so bad" and then go back to sleep;>
Yaphukwit 0
=/ Girls dont poop, thats an urban legend.
ksmiley 0
Ha! Lay off the burritos : )
Dynoblaze 1
Get a butt plug and jam it up your ass. Problem solved.
KatieGoesRawrr 0
'everytime you hold in a fart you kill bby' - niggahigga
leushqua 2
ewwwww-freeaaaky!! like from paranormal activity! :D